In a conversation in a sociology class I had last semester we had a discussion about what makes society consider a man gay. For many men in the class, it seemed that simply having a homosexual relationship or experience made a man gay. Many of the ladies in that class however, pointed out that when females engage in same-sex behavior at a club or dance it is considered socially acceptable, and the heterosexuality of the women involved is rarely questioned. This got me thinking about a certain artist that we have all heard. Yes, Katie Perry.
I have to admit here that I was never really a fan of "I kissed a girl and I liked it." To me it is just another song about a drunken hook-up with an un-named person who in the words of Katie herself "doesn't matter." Meanwhile, Katie is cheating on her boyfriend and the other woman involved is a mere "experimental game." But point being this song really doesn't break any social norms. Girls are allowed to kiss each other on dance floors and retain heterosexual identity. They are not made fun of for it; they are exploited sexually by young men who have a certain fantasy but they are certainly not put down in this social climate.
However, in another song Katie has she rails against men who break cultural "masculine" norms. It's called "Ur so gay" (actual spelling). The lyrics include lines like "I hope you hang yourself with your H&M scarf, while jacking off listening to Mozart, you bitch and moan about LA, wishing you were in the rain reading Hemingway." It seems that miss Perry isn't so tolerant after all. While she plays right into societies hands by sexual exploiting female same-sex activity, she ridicules men who dare to be "un-masculine." So girls who cheat on their boyfriends with random make-out sessions in clubs are fine but men who are intellectual, sensitive, and have a good style are just idiots "jacking off to Mozart?" What the hell Katie?
When asked about this Katie said she wasn't making fun of un-masculine men, she was "being serious" about men who find themselves in these circumstances...the lyrics continue, "You walk around like you’re oh so debonair, you pull ‘em down and there’s really nothing there...You’re so gay and you don’t even like boys, no you don’t even like, no you don’t even like, no you don’t even like penis." Do you seriously think we believe that this is not supposed to poke fun at those men who don't fit the "hegemonic masculinity?"
Why does this offend me? Well some of my tastes have often been called "gay" by others. I listen to music that has been called gay, I don't use the word gay improperly and do my best to correct those that do, I love literature, the most beautiful love affair I have ever read about was between Sal Paradise and Dean Moriarty, and even I have expressed deep feelings (not necessarily sexual or romantic) for male friends. Maybe all that just makes me extra sensitive and extra offended. But really, I think we should all do our best to question stereotypical masculinity or femininity, whether it is expressed by politicians or misguided pop-stars.
Contrary to popular belief...her ideas are nothing new.
By chomskybeat - Posted on April 7th, 2009
I wish more people wrote posts about gender and sexuality. I totally encourage you to write more about masculinity, I would love to read it.
I have a different take on "I Kissed a Girl". I take it to be challenging society's idea that you either heterosexual or homosexual, and that once you're gay, you can't go back. In the song she enjoys kissing a girl, but it doesn't mean she doesn't want to be with her boyfriend. And she's experimenting with her sexuality, which I think is good. I find it interesting that you call her kissing a girl "cheating". People define cheating differently and some people don't think its cheating when a person does something physical with someone of the same gender. This is more common with guys, they sometimes aren't intimidated when their girlfriends make out with girls.
As for the song "Ur So Gay", it pretty much seems like its demeaning guys who don't act "manly". Guys don't have much leeway for gender expression without running into serious social consequences. You seem to experience that yourself and it sucks because it limits your ability to express who you are.
Common sense is as rare as genius. ~Emerson
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you are 100% right. there is a double standard and it is sickening! every time i hear a guy say some bull abotu how how it is to see girl on girl i get offended bc it is 1. objectifying women and 2. making a real loving lesiban relationship into a fantasy for men!!!! i hate it so much and im not even gay!!! so i agree it is wrong. and yes ppl are so hard on men and then practicly beg women to do same sex things for thier own sick pleasure! it is compleatly objectifying and just another way for men to opress women and other men to make themselves feel macho. honestly as a society we are getting worse and worse. and i dont kno what kind of a world mmy childen will have to live in. very sad.
from the moment I heard the song. I too was struck by the obvious motive, which is glamorizing female engagement in sexual experimentation. I don't mind that per se, but what I don't like was made apparent in a column in OC Weekly where someone reviewed her local performance at a high end swanky club called "Sutra Lounge" where she got shitfaced and sloppily made out with one of her backstage hands on stage. What I suspected was confirmed, that this girl is simply looking for attention and validation from men, not women.
I have nothing against sexual experimentation/ exploration, however, I do not like this girl's style. It is mostly a matter of personal taste, and she is free to do as she wishes, which is a good thing. God bless America. The problem lies in the double standard you addressed here, and thank you for doing so.
I really wonder how popular a song with similar lyrics about a guy kissing a guy would go over. If it was aired anywhere but gay clubs, I suspect the person would suffer all kinds of public humiliation, if not physical abuse.
I am even more disgusted when I read the lyrics to her other song you posted, (I am not a fan, so I don't know much except what is put before me by the ever invasive Media) "It's called "Ur so gay" (actual spelling). The lyrics include lines like "I hope you hang yourself with your H&M scarf, while jacking off listening to Mozart, you bitch and moan about LA, wishing you were in the rain reading Hemingway."
those lyrics are just gross,
and as for:
"You walk around like you’re oh so debonair, you pull ‘em down and there’s really nothing there...You’re so gay and you don’t even like boys, no you don’t even like, no you don’t even like, no you don’t even like penis."
I just have to ask, Why should she care? The only reason for her to attack anyone else's gender identity or sexuality/ sexual orientation is because it is her ultimate desire to be an authority on everyone's sexuality, and this is her response to men who don't respond to her wanton ways. F*** her. I much prefer strippers and porn actresses. At least they are honest about their aims, and they don't judge anyone.
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I much prefer strippers and porn actresses. At least they are honest about their aims, and they don't judge anyone.
I'm curious: What do you think their aims are?
Common sense is as rare as genius. ~Emerson
Texas Charging Women For Rape Kits
My Other Blog Posts
difficult to answer, yes? Who would venture to answer such a question? How can any one of us live in the shoes of another? It is impossible.
With that said, i will attempt to answer the question. I will draw upon my own sense of feminine history, social classification, gender discovery/ identity, genitalia, experience, and philosophy.
What are the motives of strippers and porn actresses?
My answer is multi-faceted and multi-layered.
I think the primary motive is money. It is more than just paying the bills, though. It is about financial freedom and liberation.
The second, or parallel motive is physical liberation. There is a need to feel and be free, without the responsibility of considering any one else. It is a declaration of independence of sorts, although it also entails a form of bondage. This is what makes it confused and disturbing. Not quite right, but fundamental and crucial at the same time.
These women have made a concrete decision in their lives not to be ruled by societal standards. This sets them apart as mysterious and fascinating. In addition, they are mainly self sufficient, at least on the surface. I have recently learned of the frequency of situations where women who do not consent to such a lifestyle are forced into it, which is completely separate from what I am addressing in this post. It is a also a situation that manifests globally, which is quite disturbing.
Back to the women at hand, our female sexual entrepreneurs. I absolutely support them. I do not personally care for pornography, but I would like to see the women in the industry start working for themselves rather than to accommodate the frivolous whims of heterosexual males.
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