Atheist Student v. Religious Professor

This was written for a "Spiritual Autobiography Assignment". My professor for a course titled: Religion, Media & Culture spent the first two classes mocking atheists and blaming them for the worst mass murders and wars in the world. I did some simple online research and found out he was recently ordained a deacon in the Catholic Church. This is my polite response to him via assignment. I would have gone into more detail with him, but then I would have gone over the page limit. Please tell me what you think.

In order to even begin to discuss one's own "spirituality" I feel that we must first define what the term itself means. The Webster dictionary definitions that most closely fit my views on the term "spirituality" read as follows:

"Something that in ecclesiastical law belongs to the church or to a cleric as such, A sensitivity or attachment to religious values, Or, the quality or state of being spiritual." With the definition of "spiritual" as an adjective meaning: Being "concerned with religious values," Or "relating to supernatural beings or phenomena."

Perhaps the earliest memories I have that can be linked to the idea of spirituality would be when I served as an altar boy at St. Mary's Parish on 5903 West Mitchell Street in West Allis. St. Mary's is a Polish National Catholic Church. I was raised in both the Polish National Catholic Church tradition and in that of the Roman Catholic Church, as my mother is the former and my father is the latter.

I attended mass at St. Mary's Church every Sunday. I also took Bible classes and had both small group and individual sessions with the church's priest, Father Stralka - a VERY Polish man. My parents also required that my sister and I would partake in the Sacrament of Penance every few weeks. I remember quite vividly how nervous I would be while in confession. Ironically, and honestly, I would sit and think of things to tell Father Stralka that I did wrong. Sometimes I would make sins up just so I would have something to say. So technically, I was lying in order to fulfill the sacrament. This is not to suggest that I was perfect.

Growing up I attended all private Catholic schools up until high school. In order, the schools were: Brookfield Academy, St. Charles in Hartland, St. Mary's in Waukesha, and St. Joseph's in Waukesha. The reasons for the moves were always because of job locations or financial instability. I am fairly certain that it wasn't until I went to Waukesha West High School that I became friends and regularly interacted with people who were of a different religion than myself. The idea was interesting to me that other people believed in different religions, moral codes, and lifestyles.

After graduating from Waukesha West, I attended school at Saint Francis University (SFU) in Loretto, Pennsylvania for 2.5 years. While there, I was on both an athletic scholarship for Division I volleyball and an academic scholarship. Between the two scholarships, and two others that I had won, I was paying less to attend school there than I do now. Saint Francis University is a small private Franciscan school that has many students that are religious. The school also has several Friars that also serve as professors.

During my freshman and sophomore years at SFU I attended church service almost every Thursday night. By my junior year I had ceased attending church as I began to question my "spirituality" and "faith." That same year I returned home to finish school at UWM. I did this for several reasons, including, my mother's health, my father's health, my sexuality and my yearning to be in a bigger city.

Up until the age of 19 I had a completely positive view towards my religion that I was raised in. In my mind, being Christian was the ONLY option. I was taught to believe that Jewish people were good people, but wrong when it came to their views on Jesus (Ironically, he needed them to be non-believers in order to be crucified). I was raised in a fairly conservative family and too much Rush Limbaugh and Michael Savage had left me with a very negative view of Islam. This has all changed in the past 4 years.

I had never questioned my faith, the Church, my religion, or the religion that I was told to believe in since I was born. At the age of 12 I had become aware of my sexual attraction to other males. By the age of 14 I realized that I was indeed homosexual. But I tried to "pray the gay away" as they say. By the age of 19 I realized that this wasn't working, so I started to do some research.

I read the Bible in more depth than I ever had before. I read what the American Psychological Association (APA) had to say about sexuality. I read what other religions said about "salvation," "God," "creation," etcetera. I read two books by Lee Strobel: The Case for Christ and The Case for Faith. I read Richard Dawkins' The God Delusion. I also read more deeply into the Theory of Evolution - something that was never taught to me in private school. I also found an interesting book titled What The Bible Really Says About Homosexuality. I have also read many other books, scholarly journals, articles, works by philosophers, and so on. I have written two of my own research papers on the topics of homosexuality and the Bible and the Constitutionality of Same-sex marriages. Also, I take time to actively blog and debate online with other people in regard to religion, politics, morality, and so on. All of these things have helped me to come to where I am today.

I have decided that the world is not black and white. Things are not so simple. I cannot pick one religion and claim to be right, because there is no solid way to support that claim. Additionally, I find it to be incredibly wrong for individuals to force their religious beliefs upon others. If you want to believe in your own personal religion, I TOTALLY respect that; so long as you are not harming me.

I have to say that I respectfully disagree with the slides you showed the first day of class in regard to atheism. Mao Zedong, Joseph Stalin, Adolph Hitler, Chiang Kai-shek, Vladimir Putin, Vladimir Lenin, and Pol Pot did not kill people because they were atheist. They killed people because of their own radical dogma. Atheism does not have a dogma, a text, or a mission statement. There is no Church of the Atheist. Just as radical religious views can be deadly, so can radical non-religious views. Additionally, I highly doubt that all of the people who helped to carry out their atrocities were atheists as well. And, often times these leaders would invoke the name of "God" in order to get people to follow them. Religion can be a very helpful vehicle to perform both good and evil.

As for the chart you showed that seemed to say that religious people were morally superior to atheists and less religious persons, I must respectfully disagree once more. I think there is something to say about those who do good things for the sake of doing good things, and those who do things so that they can avoid punishment in the "afterlife." So overall, I must respectfully disagree. I think that you may have given atheists and agnostics an unfair shake on the first day of class.

As for myself, I would describe my spirituality or faith as being non-existent. At first when I started doubting the existence of a deity, I was scared that I would go to hell for it. But then I read more and thought more. If there truly is a God out there who created us, and the whole universe, I can only conclude that this deity is nothing like what any religion describes. Things like cancer, tsunamis, AIDS, hurricanes, Alzheimer’s, earthquakes, down syndrome, cerebral palsy, etcetera, all point to a deity that would be not be very caring. I also feel that a lot of things that I have read in the Bible are disturbing or far-fetched. Many of these lines were purposefully avoided or overlooked during Bible lessons and all of my private schooling. Furthermore, I find that it is impossible to prove that the book was "god-inspired." I find many more answers that make sense in science. I admit that science doesn't have all of the answers, but that doesn't automatically mean that religion must be the answer. I would need some proof first. Hence, I would describe myself as a non-theist.

I am a non-theist in the sense that I believe there could be a god, but that it is highly unlikely. I would not describe myself as an agnostic because I definitely lean toward the notion that there is not a god. Some refer to this as "weak atheism." I believe there are different levels of atheism and agnosticism that meet and blur in the middle. Importantly, I think that it is a very cocky and ignorant statement for someone to say that "there is NO God," because this cannot be proven. On the other side of the coin, nobody has ever proven the existence of a god. Although I have read a few books claiming otherwise, I will stand by this statement.

Not to insult anyone or belittle the notion of a god, I would like to describe my view a little further. I am certain that you may have heard this before, but some refer to my viewpoint as "teapot agnosticism." This means that I feel that the existence of a god is just as un-provable (or provable) as the existence of the Flying Spaghetti Monster or a magical teapot that is orbiting Mars. I am not mocking religion, as that is not my intention here; I just think that the bottom line is: I don't know the answers, and neither does anyone else.

In my life my religion has been a source of both pain and comfort. It was reassuring when I knew the answers; when I knew that after I died I would get to see my friends, family members and pets again. It was consoling to think that a "God" was watching over me, and cared about me and was listening when I prayed.

What wasn't comforting was when religion was used to bring me down as a person simply because of who I loved. I prayed for years that I would be able to "fix" my sexuality. I was deeply depressed and contemplated suicide often. I thought I was a sinner. I lost many years of my childhood to depression because of religion. Yet, once I started searching for scientific answers, I found out that homosexuality exists in nature. I found that the world’s largest and most respected psychological association firmly believes that homosexuality is an immutable characteristic; not a disease, not a choice, not “curable” as some would have us believe. I do not worship science, but I find more beauty, peace, and reason in scientific knowledge and nature than I ever did in the Bible. The world makes more sense to me now.

Since I have had many people assume this, I would like to make it clear that I am not conveniently non-theist simply because I am gay. Nothing could be farther from the truth. As you can see I have read (and continue to read) numerous books. I have checked out numerous sources to come to where I am now. I am non-theist because I do not rationalize with any creation story or intelligent design idea that I have ever heard. They do not make sense to me. I am non-theist because I know that I can be a good person without having to fear punishment from a creator figure (if there is a "God," I would hope that they would truly appreciate this). I am non-theist because I am comfortable with the idea that humans are just highly-intelligent, highly-evolved animals. I am non-theist for several more reasons, but I would need a year to fully express myself.

To this day I find it amazing that I have become who I am since I never really had a chance to decide for myself what to believe in. The vast majority of children are raised in whatever religion their parents tell them is correct. It's a shake of the dice. If I was born in China, or Vietnam, or Africa, or Israel, or Pakistan, or wherever, I could have been raised Buddhist, Muslim, Christian, Hindu, Chinese Universist, Sikh, Jewish, Taoist, and so on.

It is amusing to me that some people that belong to each of these groups can think that they are right and others are wrong. It becomes depressing to me when some individuals think that they are religiously and morally correct; especially when they force their views on others physically, politically, or otherwise. For example, even though I am not religious, people who are still cast votes to tell me that I am morally inferior, that I am inherently unequal, and that I cannot get married to the person that I love. At least this attitude is slowly changing.

So, overall I would say that I am not spiritual or religious, but I am still a good person. I do not mind if others are religious, so long as they do not harm me with it. I wish that people would be taught about all of the different religions by their parents and then be allowed to choose which one(s), if any, they would like to join or explore further.

I am not at all convinced that prayer works, and I think that it is sad when people say that "God" helped them win the lottery, or get such and such a job, or pass a test, etcetera when there are homeless people on the streets, starving people around the globe, and so on. It just doesn't add up. I feel that I have a unique perspective compared to that of what many other students may have in the class - Although I have taken notice of one or two others who appear to share similar sentiments.

As a conclusion, I hope to actively, respectfully, and positively contribute to the classroom activities and discussions. As for my spirituality, perhaps it would be best described by this quote from Abraham Lincoln, "When I do good, I feel good; when I do bad, I feel bad. That's my religion."