Now that the contest is over, and I have crossed the line from "scholarly" blogging to "confessional" blogging, I feel that the pressure is off. I spent the last 8 weeks blogging about religion. I said at the beginning of that project that I believe that religion and sexuality are *the* two most driving forces of human behavior. I chose to focus on religion mainly because I was taking a religious studies class, and was using progressiveU to facilitate that learning process. Now I feel ready to address the other major force of human behavior, sexuality.
Gender is a limitation. I did not say that gender *preference* is a limitation. I am not saying that women are the limited gender. I am saying that males are limited by their maleness, and females are limited by being female.
While I do appreciate the power of hormones and biochemicals that drive sexuality, I do not believe that that is the only, or even the most prominent factor of what drives human sexuality. Sexual *drive* is governed by chemicals, not necessarily sexual *preferences* or *attitudes.* Many people go through life trying to erase the influence of sexuality on their being. Some may be successful at not *behaving* sexually, but I do not believe that it is possible for a human being to conquer the basic construct of biochemistry. That is the basis for my arguing that societal impositions onto gender and sexuality are more important and more influential on the mystery of human sexuality than biochemistry.
Biochemically we are all basically the same. The processes that correlate to sexual arousal, and release, is the same. What that process triggers as the behavioral, emotional, and psychological response varies from each individual person.
In other words, it is not the chemicals that determine *what* arouses me. The chemicals are only the physical process of the arousal.
So what makes being male or female limiting? I was reminded by a segment from the documentary "Seven Deadly Sins," that testosterone also is at play during the process of female arousal. In fact, rising levels of testosterone that occur in both males and females during sexual arousal.
The documentary was comparing the seven deadly sins, and the demons that were believed to impose these desires onto humans, and the biochemical processes that drove people to act out these sins.
Rising levels of testosterone correlate with a decrease in judgment. With a rise of arousal, and decrease of judgment, people are capable of doing things they wouldn't do if they were not "under the influence." This chemical process is not very different between males and females. This chemical process causes the same physiological response in both genders, increased bloodflow to erectile tissue, and lubrication of mucous membranes (including the vas derens and the urethra in males).
So I come back to my statement that gender is a limitation. It is a limitation because the definitions of what it is to be male or female as social beings is constructed by collective social conscious, and nothing else. Arguments that resort to genetics, and evolution as the answer are incomplete. If evolution is occurring in the present times in humans, it is not happening on the genetic level. It is happening on the level of social consciousness.
We are learning as a species that sexuality does not affect a person's ability to be effective in this world. Yes men and women have basic physical differences. Men have more muscle mass in proportion to their fat, and women have more fat in proportion to their muscle mass compared to men. Men and women do have differences of emotional responses to the same stimuli, and different physical responses to the same stimuli. For instance, men are more likely to be aroused by urges to engage in violence. It is not unknown to honest researchers that urges to protect the beloved, by force if necessary, cause sexual arousal. On the darker side of that coin, urges to overwhelm the beloved, sometimes in fantasy by physical force, also cause sexual arousal.
For women, the urge to be protected, and her response to feeling protected cause physical arousal. In fantasy, if not in reality, urges to be overwhelmed, sometimes by physical force or seduction, cause a woman to be aroused. (This theory may not play into lesbian acts very often. I am not sure, but I suspect not.)
My theory is that this difference in the stimulation that causes the same reaction is imposed externally upon people. I do not think that we are born to feel and think this way. Social constructs are the source of this limitation. It is a limitation because each gender is suffering from conditioned responses to their sexuality.
As women continue to grow in their awareness, and refuse to be defined by society, and by men, which have been primarily responsible for constructing these boundaries, the human species will begin to be able to evolve, and the shift in awareness will serve to decrease the amount of prejudice, intolerance, and even violence against feminine sexuality. At the same time men will be shaking their heads, also waking up, realizing collectively that women are so much more than what we have allowed ourselves to acknowledge. Our sexual revolutionary pioneers will have reason to rejoice, just as many minorities did when they heard Obama's acceptance speech.
Men and women will be able to work collectively toward solving these problems in other parts of the world, where the awareness has not permeated the thick walls of false social constructs. If we want to liberate oppressed nations, we need to clean up the debris and rubel from our own nation's war between the sexes. Then we might be qualified to help another nation figure it out. The same process needs to happen on a spiritual level, between people of different faiths. We cannot demand that other countries live in freedom without tolerance if we are not an authentic example.
Gender is A Limitation
By turtlesuds - Posted on January 3rd, 2009
and his first 2 blogs, "The Problem With Males" (I wanted to post the link but right now my computer won't let me copy and paste the URL), and "Pussy Power." I didn't read part II of the The Problem with Males yet, though.
"Consistency is not a human trait" - Maude, from Harold and Maude
I disagree with your post (if it means what I've understood it to mean). Basically, you're saying that there shouldn't be differences between men and women and that the differences between the two are not instinct, but societal warping.
Yes, genders may be limitations, but they're facts of life. I think the differences in gender may limit each of us, but I think they all add to the bigger picture. For example...puzzles have many pieces. Each puzzle piece has been cut and shaped to fit a certain part of the puzzle. Yes, it is limited to only that part, but without that part, the puzzle wouldn't be complete. Also, puzzle piece 10 wouldn't fit very well in the slot meant for piece 13. So I think the differences and limitations of each gender are what make men and women so beautiful.
Basically what I'm trying to say is yes, there are limitations, but is that necessarily a bad thing? I don't think so. I think that's what makes life. Finally, I don't think the differences are merely a product of society because even animals who have no higher reasoning abilities play different roles and the males and females act differently and have difference purposes.
RESPECT LIFE
http://progressiveu.org/blog/respectlife
"It is poverty to decide that a child must die so that you may live as you wish."
~Mother Teresa
is not the same thing as saying there is *no* difference between males and females. I am not ignoring obvious differences dictated by anatomy.
What I am saying is that when society agrees to limit people and their potential for reaching a state of happiness and effectiveness by imposing behavioral definitions, everyone suffers.
People should be free to choose what kind of societal role they want to play. Prejudice that comes from traditional male Anglo saxon founded society serves to limit peoples' concepts of what they can or can't do, as well as what they want or don't want to do.
Males that prefer social acceptance, and accept the attitude of "machismo" that says "the bigger my dick, and the more ass I beat, the more bitches I get," are suffering from limitation. Women that prefer social acceptance, and feel weak alone, and who enjoy being validated sexually play into this drama very complacently.
I am not saying that this sexual drama is bad in and of itself. I am saying that our culture supports it, and holds it as the foundation for what is "normal," and until it doesn't, by allowing for everyone to choose their own social roles regardless of gender, we will not see what humans are really capable of.
I am not just taking about removing gender bias from the law, I am also talking about removing gender bias from our social consciousness.
"Consistency is not a human trait" - Maude, from Harold and Maude
Well, could I have an example? I mean, yeah, most guys look at machoness as being manly, but they like that type of stuff. I mean, I have one guy friend in particular (he's a TOTAL NERD! I love it :P), but he's always talking about how manly something was or how so-and-so should get his man card revoked for that and stuff like that. It gives him pleasure when I (as a girl), could care less.
I personally love being treated like a lady. I mean, sometimes it frustrates me when I'm told that ONLY the guys are going to lift and put the chairs up, but at the same time, I know I could do it if needed and appreciate their attempt at chivalry.
I think society depends...I mean, we went from "women can't do anything" to "women should get to do everything"...I think both extremes are dangerous. There ARE differences in the sexes and they should be respected. My mom was in the military for a short period of time, and they were told that in battle, they might have to throw a fellow soldier over their back in a fireman position and RUN away, gear, heat, and all. Mom said that not even the biggest woman in her troop or whatever it's called could do it. Men and women are just built differently and have different "specialties" of sorts. I think ignoring that or saying that that's mainly a society thing isn't true, because it's just life.
IDK, I guess there's just a special balance, and mainly a thin line...
RESPECT LIFE
http://progressiveu.org/blog/respectlife
"It is poverty to decide that a child must die so that you may live as you wish."
~Mother Teresa
and I am not ignoring that there are differences in males and females in terms of potential for physical strength. Still i know a lot of women who can kick their and my husbands asses in less than 20 minutes. I know a lot of men who are soft and lazy and can't walk up a flight of stairs without losing their breath. If every man and woman lived up to their physical potentials, than yes, men and women would always be different in their physical capacities. However, women can be more flexible and quicker than men. Maybe they can't lift as much as high, but that doesn't mean they won't win in a one on one battle.
I am not arguing either that you should not want to be treated like a lady, or that chivalry should disappear. I am just saying that a lot of people are living unaware that what they think is inherent and out of their control is not. If you are happy with yourself, and you see that your family is happy, and you want to emulate that in your life, I have no objection.
I am not really addressing people like you and asmaw anyway. You two are different. I am speaking more to women in this world who are living in sexual slavery, who have accepted that their self worth is measured by how men respond to them.
I am responding to the fact that what started out as a sexual revolution in the 20's that addressed the inequalities in politics, the workforce, and in social life, became an irresponsible orgy in the 60's that promoted "mindless" sex more than it did "free" sex. Is it any wonder that divorce became socially acceptable across the board in the 70's?
People could screw whoever they wanted, whenever, get pregnant, and pretty soon marry, not marry, or have an abortion. With so much freedom my generation (generation X) became a generation acutely aware of the pain of the consequences for so much freedom. I believe that most of us who came from broken and split families have a certain awareness now that makes us a lot more cautious than our parents. I see a desire to get back to some core social values in the home.
On the other hand, there are a lot of naive women out there, mostly in their 20's and teens, who buy into Hollywood sexuality. For instance the girl who sings the song "I Kissed a Girl." I can't remember her name. She played at the Sutra Lounge in Costa Mesa and I saw an article in the OC weekly. She grabbed a female backup singer and started making out with her on stage.
Don't get me wrong, i am not opposed to her doing that. i am not offended. I am just not into it and I feel unsettled because I feel like the energy is not coming from a place of freedom, but rather from a place of bondage. i feel like she feels pressure from her social constructs to be sexy and she longs to be free. i think that her display was wantonly desperate.
And so I agree with you that the shifts have been extreme, and I feel that is why we need to find balance. We need to find a way to promote personal freedom along with self-esteem and personal responsibility. These days its not as common as it was when I was in high school people rallying around someone calling them a slut for having sex. I could be wrong, but it seems to me these days that promiscuity is romanticized. If I am wrong it is because I am out of touch with the age group and am relying on what I see in my home town and in the media.
Movies like Juno, and Jamie Lynne Spears' pregnancy are examples of what i am talking about. Ms. Spears was not heavily chastised, and come to think of it, neither is Bristol Palin, except maybe in her home behind closed doors. Now that even teens can give birth without being extracted from society, old school people are wondering how we are going to control this out of control behavior.
Others are thinking more critically and making personal choices based on what they want from life, rather than by what they can do and their base impulses. I think overall, we are doing a good job. I just think it needs to go further, until we are not seeing abortions, rape, and child abuse. People having kids irresponsibly, with their eyes closed is not good for anyone.
"Consistency is not a human trait" - Maude, from Harold and Maude
I have a voice inside that says I want one, I want to love one as much as she and you love yours...all in good time :]
Is Muslim another subset or part of being Black ? I want to go home where they don't look at me as if I am an alien from outer space...come to destroy, to torture their planet.
by clarifying that I don't see anything wrong with people who find themselves fulfilled in their current state, and I am not trying to tell anyone that they need to be different than they are. These social constructs that are so deeply embedded into our consciousness do not always serve to cause harm.
What I am really trying to address are taboos. I am arguing that deviations from the *norm* which cause harm to people are born out of these social constructs.
"Consistency is not a human trait" - Maude, from Harold and Maude
There's more to the sexual state than just testosterone. Granted, that plays a rather large factor (I watched The Doctors yesterday, and there was a 40-year old woman who had never had an orgasm, and the OBGYN suspected it was, at least in part, due to her extremely low testosterone and progesterone levels). Estrogen, the 'female' hormone (though men have it as well, just not in as high of doses), plays a part in female sexuality as well, as women in menopause tend not to have as high of a sex drive... evolutionarily, there's just no need for it, since they can no longer have children. The sex drive also varies throughout the menstrual cycle due to the variation in hormones. Also, too much testosterone will make someone asexual... men become infertile if they get too much testosterone in their bodies, which is what typically happens to men who take anabolic steroids.
I do think society plays a huge role in shaping our gender identities, but I don't think it's the be all end all, either. I mean, there are plenty of women out there who love to dominate... just look at Carrot (she mentioned it in one of her blogs). There are also men who like to be submissive. There are women who like both to be dominated and to dominate, depending on their moods. This is all happening despite the image that men are dominating and women are submissive. So, I don't think society influences everything of our natural preferences.
~C
Check out the latest entry in the Between The Lines column!
Want the highest rated list to change? RATE those blogs, then!
Yes there are more hormones at play than testosterone, and yes the levels of those hormones vary from individual to individual, as well as from moment to moment, day to day, week to week, and year to year.
Still, the same hormones are work in both males and females. The preferences that people choose which give them more sexual stimulation or arousal than other sources of stimulation are not dependent on the hormone levels that exist in their brains.
The fact that carrot enjoys being the sexual dominant in certain moments has nothing to do with her estrogen to testosterone ratio. It has to do with her personal experiences, her personal tastes and distastes. I suspect it has to do with having been in a situation where sexual arousal took place while there was both sexual and social stimulus provided.
I also doubt that she would be satisfied with a life that only provided her with opportunities to indulge that particular fantasy. I suspect that there are times when she also enjoys being pet and touched in situations where she is not in the dominating role.
That is my point. Not all men are aroused by the prospect of engaging in violence. But the pathophysiological process that occurs during sexual stimulation also occurs in some men with the prospect of engaging in violence. This idea of "conquering" being a masculine urge is a connection that society has imposed.
In reality the sympathetic nervous system process of "flight or fight," when faced with a threat to physical safety causes a decrease in sexual arousal and impulses. This is the shift from "breathe and breed," stasis of the parasympathetic nervous system. So the connection between violence and sexual arousal is not based on physiology alone. It takes a psychological connection between the two to create the phenomenon.
That psychological connection is reinforced by society. Examples are movies and stories that romanticize war, with the ending being a man running into the arms of a woman when the fighting is over.
Young women in gangs say they are attracted to young boys in gangs because it makes them feel "protected," despite the fact that they often suffer physical abuse from their boyfriends.
Fighting a duel for the honor of a woman, for instance, was a social construct. A man who saves a damsel in distress is usually shown in stories as being rewarded with intense affection that often leads to sexual activity. These ideas that a "strong" man is sexy, and that "weak" women are sexy, are socially created and imposed.
I believe that these processes are linked because of human culture, history, and current social constructs. I believe that people who do not follow the "norm" sexually, as is established by society, and society's constructs for what appropriate sexual behavior is, are people who are not different from "normal" heterosexual people on a biochemical level.
Instead they are people who chose to pay attention to their own responses, and chose to honor their own preferences. They are people who were surprised by their aroused reaction to stimulus that society declares as inappropriate.
Those who have chosen to be true to themselves rather than submit to being products of an underevolved society are simply acknowledging that there is not so clear a line between what makes people "feminine" or "masculine." other than their anatomy and reproductive functions. The accepted definitions for what is "feminine" and "masculine" beyond genitalia, reproductive function, and X and Y chromosomes are created by society.
If all social taboos and constructs surrounding human sexuality were dismantled, I suspect we would see much more diversity in the roles that both genders play in society. Women who are breadwinners, like myself, for instance are increasing in number. Men who stay at home and "housekeep," are increasing in number.
Ideas about what are appropriate social roles for the sexes are changing. Is this correlating with a shift in the biochemical or genetic processes going on? I suspect not. I doubt you would be able to find studies that say that men that care for their children while the mothers work are genetically different than men who don't.
What you might find instead is that the acts of caring for babies and children illicit a biochemical reaction in the man's brain while it is occurring that is similar to what occurs in a woman's brain when she engages in those activities.
Feelings of love, attachment, and familial recognition create different hormonal reactions than feelings of competition and a drive to hunt and gather, providing for your family in their absence.
Whichever gender chooses to take on each role is going to experience a similar biochemical reaction that reflects the nature of the activity taking place. Biochemistry does not dictate social roles. Society places constraints on gender roles by assigning appropriate behaviors to each gender. Engaging in different behaviors changes the biochemical current of the moment.
"Consistency is not a human trait" - Maude, from Harold and Maude
very afraid
Is Muslim another subset or part of being Black ? I want to go home where they don't look at me as if I am an alien from outer space...come to destroy, to torture their planet.
I do not mean to. I hope that you will at least enlighten me with what exactly you are afraid of.
"Consistency is not a human trait" - Maude, from Harold and Maude
I'm just scared of the fact that if this is true...what does it say about me
Is Muslim another subset or part of being Black ? I want to go home where they don't look at me as if I am an alien from outer space...come to destroy, to torture their planet.
I am not sure what it says about you exactly. But what i would like to say that I hope it says is that you, asma, the young and beautiful woman who is trying to find her place in the world, are not limited by your anatomy in terms of what is possible for you.
Living in America that is more true than if you were living in Pakistan. The differences in social roles between women in America and in Muslim countries is only one manifestation that what I am saying is true.
Some women may not feel confined or limited by the social constructs around them. They may like them, and enjoy living in them. I am not here to take that away from them. (well, maybe I want to take away the social constructs, but i would hope that those women would find happiness still with others who choose to share that understanding. So long as it is a choice.)
I am however interested in liberating people of all orientations from socially imposed definitions.
"Consistency is not a human trait" - Maude, from Harold and Maude
two step, at a time. I think I understood half of what you said, the other half is call-waiting.
I'll tell you when I am ready.
Is Muslim another subset or part of being Black ? I want to go home where they don't look at me as if I am an alien from outer space...come to destroy, to torture their planet.
when you're ready. My call waiting is on too. This was inspired by wombels and he is constantly reminding me that most people won't fully understand my ideas. It's cool, they don't have to.. i am just putting my feelers out there.
"Consistency is not a human trait" - Maude, from Harold and Maude
an awesome one, where I will not regret a single decision I make
Is Muslim another subset or part of being Black ? I want to go home where they don't look at me as if I am an alien from outer space...come to destroy, to torture their planet.
is never a good thing. I am sure your life is awesome, and will stay that way. But if you ever do find yourself feeling regret, just know that you can always make a new decision which can bring new joy and wipe out the feelings of regret about perceived past mistakes.
"Consistency is not a human trait" - Maude, from Harold and Maude
That’s one way to wake up a dormant volcano!
:rofl:
Nice blog you have written down, I love it!
You keep me busy, lol
http://www.wowzone.com/monkey.htm
good stuff or shall we leave it?
"He who awaits much can expect little."
- Gabriel Garcia Marquez, No One Writes to the Colonel
(me thinks...I will meet GM in another life)
however, I think wombels and I will agree to roll around laughing together, blood, fire, lava and all.
"Consistency is not a human trait" - Maude, from Harold and Maude
"He who awaits much can expect little."
- Gabriel Garcia Marquez, No One Writes to the Colonel
(me thinks...I will meet GM in another life)
Welcome to the party! (see my recent fb comments on your wall for clarification!)
Love you!
"Consistency is not a human trait" - Maude, from Harold and Maude
And tornados!
I dream about them frequently, and they make me feel at home.
"Consistency is not a human trait" - Maude, from Harold and Maude
I am a bit confused but impressed at your post. Wombels of course writes some really far out awesome stuff and I commend you for writing this. Are you saying that woman and men are limited..for example woman are suppose to be submissive and let a man seduce them and they are suppose to not be sex crazed? sorry I am just confused lol. Because if it is along the lines of that then yes I believe we are limited.
Come to the darkside....we have cookies ;)
http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/50086-%E2%80%9Ctaxi-darkside%E2%80%9D-u...
"Are you saying that woman and men are limited..for example woman are suppose to be submissive and let a man seduce them and they are suppose to not be sex crazed?"
Well in a way yes, but that is only one example. We are limited by the definitions we have in our own minds about what men and women are supposed to be.
Women suppress parts of themselves because it doesn't "fit" into their own definition of themselves.
Men do the same thing.
Of course not everyone shares the same definitions, but the one you picked is a good example of one that still infects many a brain.
"Consistency is not a human trait" - Maude, from Harold and Maude