Well since I’m in the mood I’m just going to write to my heart’s content and see what happens. So I met this guy, well not him personally, just his voice, online. Yeah I know crazy right? A person online can be ANYONE they want to be. They could be a 48 year old pretending to be a 22 year old, or some other crazy age change. They can make themselves seem really sweet and in real life a jerk. There is so many different ways the internet masks a person. But the crazy thing is that I DON’T care if they’re lying because I create this image, this world away from reality. In this world no one cares who I am. They can judge all they want, but I don’t have to see it in their face. All I have to do is listen to their voice and judge for myself. I feel they are laughing with me not at me. This world, this fantasy of just voices can be imagined however I want it to. I don’t have to feel pressured for how I look, or what I wear. I am judged by my humor and my contribution to conversation. I don’t have to wear a mask because I’m not seen. It doesn’t matter as long as I laugh and have fun. I don’t care if I’m the majority of the jokes, because that must mean I’m liked. There must be something that attracts them to the person I am inside. I don’t know who they are. I don’t know if who they are is what reality is, but with what they say I create them. I see what I want to see, and don’t have to worry about who I’m looking at. They could be the ugliest guys on earth, but I would know that they have the sweetest person on the inside.
So I met this guy, well his voice, online. He’s pretty amazing and I LOVE to flirt with him. I don’t even realize I’m flirting some of the time. I just do. I feel like I can say anything and it doesn’t matter. I know that it’s weird to be infatuated with a person you’ve only heard. But he has captured my heart. I know nothing will ever come out of this but that adds to the fun. I know I can say almost anything and it won’t matter. He told me today he wants to get back with his EX and it’s sad, but I understand. There is something real with them, while I’m just the fun for the time being. I understand because he is just MY fun till the time is right for me to find the right person. I know in my heart of hearts that nothing could happen, and it’s sad that it may not. But I feel content knowing that we both are aware of this, and that we can still keep things going as normal. I wouldn’t mind something, but at the same time, will survive without that something as well. It’s weird to like someone who you’ve never met. But you just create this image….so it sticks with you and makes you go after you want. Because this image, this idea, this being is the person you want to have. IF you have them in this different world you have them for life. I know that it’s really bad when you start talking about a virtual guy, but it is something I feel that I have to write about because I can make myself ok with the fact that I can’t have him. We were meant to meet this way, and it is in the hands of fate if this “thing” is meant to be more.
I know at some point in time I have to step out of this virtual reality and move on with the life I have outside of the World Wide Web, but for now it makes me happy. It’s something different from the monotony of being. My dreams are not interfered with by these guys, this GUY on the internet. I know what I want out of life. And at this point in time the World Web is mine for now. I’ll grow out of it when the time is right. There is some reason that fate has brought me to the online world and when the time is right to move on something will slowly pull me away. That doesn’t mean I’ll forget my new made friends, just means I’ll talk less to them. Who knows maybe we’ll meet in real life.
This is probably crazy to write. But I wanted to reflect on what pulled me to these guys on the internet…this jumble of voices. Maybe I just needed the confidence in myself. Who knows? I just know that it’s OK. It’s another way of meeting people and networking throughout the world. I’m just going to live in the moment and have the chips fall where they may. If things were meant to be they will BE.
Mr. Virtual Reality
By tezz - Posted on December 11th, 2008
I think the same feeling and excitement can happen in real life also. virtual reality may be good practice, but in the end i think it teaches you( me) to be more at ease with everyone i encounter in the "real" life.
I had confidence before, but i was more concerned about trite comments rather than just throwing deeply connecting fresh words.
It is awesome what virtual reality can do to one.
you can carry it on to reality.
As someone who has always been shy and have never had a relationship, I think its giving me the confidence that there is someone out there for me and that not all hope is lost. It gives me the confidence that I am an attractive person. I feel like I don't have to be afraid or nervous around the opposite sex and that i DO know how to talk to them. I am getting more confident to opening up to people. You never know what you could be missing. To think of what I could miss if I didn't strike up a conversation?!
Thanks for the comment and the vote! Its nice to know that I'm not crazy. :)