I recently had one of my students come visit me in my office (I teach English at a junior college in Japan, although I’m a recent grad myself). She will graduate in a year, and has big goals for her life. The things she wants to do are rare for someone her age in this country. She wants to make a difference in the lives of those less fortunate than herself, focusing especially on those in developing nations.
She wants to go on to a four-year college to continue studying her English so she can work with English-speaking organizations in her future. She has been studying very hard, and I think she really has a good shot getting into a decent university.
However, she has been given poison in the form of words from many. Her parents in particular feel they cannot afford a four-year university, much less a really good one in Tokyo. They also think her thoughts of working on humanitarian issues across the sea is unreasonable. Some of her teachers think her English is not good enough to get into the school she wants, so they’re encouraging her to try for an, *ahem* more practical choice.
Basically, she came to me desperate for someone to support her in her dreams. I have been that person for her before, so I’ll continue to do so now. Of course, I don’t want her to put all her eggs in one basket, so I did tell her to come up with a few back-up plans. However, I refuse to tell her she can’t do it. Where will that get her? Working in some office somewhere like most of the other graduates from this place?
I just want to tell all the people who have discouraged her, “Hey, you! Don’t you talk like that!”
I, too, had to struggle against discouraging remarks quite a few times in my past. If I had listened to what those people said, I wouldn’t have gone to the amazing college I did, I wouldn’t have chosen the great major I studied in, and I certainly wouldn’t be working in Japan right now. I wouldn’t have visited some of the countries I have traveled to… in short, I wouldn’t be me.
Think twice before you try to talk someone out of doing something they’re passionate about. No matter how expensive or risky, no matter how difficult it might be, if it has the opportunity to work positively in their life or the lives of others, let them go ahead and do it. There’s enough negativity in the world already.
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Its important to support people in what they do. I am all for supportive friends and or family members. I prefer knowing that the people I know understand my plans for the future, the decisions I make and why I made them. I dislike when peers or family members think that something isn't right for you or try to push you in another direction.
I think the best thing for people to do is give helpful and supportive advice, because if someone wants to pursue their dreams all there is to it is making sure that they have backup plans and that they carefully thought things through.
For example, my mom doesn't think I should move to another state, but she knows what I've been through so I don't want her to be afraid of my next move. I want her to believe in me!
I don't think that she really believed that I would make it through college because of the neighborhood I lived in, but thank God I did.
Laurie Wilson
I hope your mom comes to support your decision to move to another state. And, even if she still doesn't think it's a good plan, perhaps she'll change her mind when she sees you become successful in your new state and new situation. Go for it! :)
Thank you! The best opportunity she has offered me is that I can come back if things don't work out!
I don't like to feel as if I need to think more than I should, I'm a go for it!
Thanks again
Laurie
Great blog!
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You are the Voice of the Childwen of the Revowution! [Toulouse, Moulin Rouge]
I must add that it is great that you encouraged and supported your student, because one person can make a difference. I don't think many people realize that, but it's true.
I'm glad that despite the discrouaging remarks that you received, you still did what you needed to do for you!
Confidence sure goes a long way.
Great blog. I know how bad it feels to get your dreams crushed. My mother crushed mine...temporarilly. But it is MY dream and I am going to achieve it.