I really don't know where to begin. It hurts so much talking about this. In 2005 my mom was diagnosed with lung cancer. For the longest time she tried to keep it from me and my siblings. She had always been a very strong and determined woman. When i finally found out i really didn't think too much of it b/c we all believed that God could and would heal her. So we moved on with our lives and at times she would say that she was healed. I used to be so disrepectful to my mom and b/c of her illness there were times when she was in the right state of mind and i would get upset at her as if she could help it. It seemed that for a good bit of my like i acted like i didn't like her when in truth i did. I love her more than i love myself. I could write i book but im gone try to make this as short as possible b/c its hard talking about this. Too make a long story short, she was not only my mom, but my best friend. We became so close maybe a year or so before she passed. I always think about how it happened. She was laying in her hospice bed suffered and at 3:05a.m. she took her last breath as i was lying beside her and holding her hand. That was the WORST day of my life and i don't know how im living without her. I wanted to die too. And if it wasn't for my 4 month old daughter i would want him to take me now. There is so much that i wish i could change. I have SO MANY regrets!!!!! I didn't always treat her like i should have. I WOULD GIVE ALMOST ANYTHING TO HAVE A SECOND CHANCE. I MISS HER SO MUCH AND I REALLY DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO. MOST OFTHE TIME I TRY TO STAY BUSY SO I WONT THINK ABOUT HER, BUT THERE ARE TIMES WHEN I HAVE NOTHING TO DO BESIDES THINK. MY LIFE IS EMPTY. WHY CAN'T I HAVE ANOTHER CHANCE WHY?????? WHAT IS A GIRL TO DO??:-(
I'M 21 AND 2 YRS AGO I LOST MY MOM TO LUNG CANCER;-( MY LIFE IS A DISASTER!!!
By ARINICOLE16 - Posted on July 19th, 2008
My grandmother used to tell me with all life's woes that this too shall pass. I'm fairly sure she got it from somewhere religious as she was deeply religious herself. She told me to have faith in God. It will hurt for a while, but in time the pain will ease off a bit. Nothing will be as easy as that, but it is true. It just takes a helluva long time.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You can't ignore me, for I'll not lie down quietly.
http://insanitek.net
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Don't let these regrets ruin you. I have lived with the same guilt as you. My situtation is similar which I find quite..Deja vu. I watched my mom die in ICU when I was 18 This was August 2006 it will be 2 years soon. I had just graduated highschool 2 months prior. My mom was in a coma for 3 weeks and we sat with her as she died. I held her hand as well. The hardest part is saying goodbye.
In my mind for the longest time I told myself she was on vacation and would be coming back. It still hurts so bad. My mother had lupus though and the hospital helped kill her.
I understand but you must be strong and realize she is in a better place. She is watching over you and she isn't suffering anymore. It is very hard to pick up the pieces. I still cry silently when I am alone. I am alot of guilt and I always told her I never wanted to be like her. I regret it so much. Keep your head up and if you ever need to talk just private message me.
http://www.progressiveu.org/032913-lupus-uncureable-wait-what
Love comments? I do too!
I think you should read some of Dani's blogs about her experiences and feelings that she went through. You are not alone in feeling this way! Others have been through similar situations, and can help you sort through it all.
Keep your head up!
Click here to read about new ways to save money and the environment that you have never heard!
"" I WOULD GIVE ALMOST ANYTHING TO HAVE A SECOND CHANCE. I MISS HER SO MUCH AND I REALLY DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO. MOST OFTHE TIME I TRY TO STAY BUSY SO I WONT THINK ABOUT HER, BUT THERE ARE TIMES WHEN I HAVE NOTHING TO DO BESIDES THINK. MY LIFE IS EMPTY. WHY CAN'T I HAVE ANOTHER CHANCE WHY?????? WHAT IS A GIRL TO DO? .. ""
===============================================================
Peace be upon you and your dears!
I am writting few words according to my belief:
1= We come to / go from world not by our choice.
2= Our coming and going has purpose, fixed by Our God.
3= We all have to depart the world, some sooner others latter, as a train passengers who leaves at various times.
4= Time of suffering during sickness is counted by God to exalt the station of soul in other world. Prayers done in loved ones's sickness do not go in vain they are stored for their and our benefits. There is an upper limit for our life span (decreed life) and there is a possible life time which we acheive depending upon various physical factors.
5= Your prayers for deceased loved one will comfort them.
6= Your presenting charity to needy ones on the behalf of loved ones will rise their station.
7= Your continuation of any particular good deed which they used to do in life would help them.
8= Think we are property of our God Who decides best for us at a time.
9= To parents, we are always little child, they really do not expect much so past memories of not doing this and that for them are of no use. Under the circumstances you did your best, they knew it.
10= Please do daily prayers for her and all deceaseds. They are not lost; they are just called to other room.
11= 'Surely, to Allah we belong and to Him shall we return.' [ chap 2, v 157 w.alislam.org Quran section.]... That is what we are taught to say and understand when a loved one departs, leaving us sad.
12= Time is a mercy-coordinate made by God for human for healing. If needed, other ways can be used. For example, in homeopathic system of medicine, there are certain remedies with no side effects. ( to be used under proper guidance in proper potency)
" Grief and Depression: The loss of a loved one can leave a deep feeling of sadness that can be felt again and again when certain memories or thoughts about that person are triggered. Homeopathic remedies can help the grieving come to terms with the loss and can lessen the impact of the shock.
Ignatia is used for recent bereavement. The person feels nervous and can't stop shaking. The bereaved has usually identified completely with the lost one and feels that she can't possibly exist alone.
Natrum muriaticum is commonly used for depression and is especially helpful when the death of a loved one has occurred in the past. The person has never been the same since and has developed a melancholy nature, withdrawing and not living life to its fullest."
--- http://www.alive.com/3712a1a2.php?subject_bread_cramb=85