Prom: A Four-Letter-Word, Part I

Prom: A Four-Letter-Word

Among the wide range of four letter words not to be said too loudly in school hallways, the very worst may come as a surprise to those not in their junior or senior year of high school: Prom. From February to June the very mention of the epic event may incite anything from squeals of anticipation to panic attacks. So why all the fuss over a formal dance?
Since evolving from the late nineteenth century practice of a ‘promenade ball’ into a celebration of the end of the school year, the practice of prom has become increasingly stressful and representative of undesirable ideals. The once highly sought after titles of Prom Queen and King are now laughably vapid, many post-parties disintegrate into debaucheries of drugs, alcohol and sex, and more and more schools are electing to cancel the event altogether. Prom goers are in for what can be an extreme preparation process, from procuring a date and dress or tuxedo to buying tickets and renting a limo, all of which can be accompanied by ridiculous levels of drama. Many shun attending under the premise that the event is merely a needless glorification of materialism and delinquency, some going so far as to throw anti-prom parties protesting the affair.
Despite all this, it may be entirely possible for those so inclined to enjoy celebrating with their friends at minimal expensive both financially and emotionally. Extras such as having hair and nails done professionally can be dispensed with, and there is no earthly reason to purchase a 400 dollar gown. Throats need not be cut over who rides in which limo or is invited to which pre and post parties. It is even possible to find opposite-gender counterparts while attending a single sex school. How can I make these claims? Well, they held true last year.
Coming Soon: Further analysis of this most provocative of social events