They keep me up for hours, and yet I still love them.

I’m an animal lover. My family has five cats, a dog, and a tarantula. In my house, you’re never left alone (except by the spider. We’re not crazy enough to let her out of her aquarium). My point: I wake up every morning at least three times. There’s usually one purring cat having a fight with my head over the pillow space. If I decide to get up, there’s probably going to be another cat running around my feet, trying to run me into a wall – I mean, love me. The dog will most likely come in to bother me while I’m using the toilet, because he has to go potty. Walking out to the kitchen, I’ll probably trip over at least one cat at the foot dish, and another one who decides that his life’s goal is to make my head meet the island.

There’s a conspiracy in my own household – the Furry Mafia has a contract out on me, I swear.

After tripping over the same cat every single day, I have to admit that I get frustrated. I yell at whichever one I last came in contact with (Princess). I’ll yell at whichever cat decided to throw up right in the walkway (Chubby), or whoever decided that the kitchen floor needed water all over it (Shnotz or Niko). We have a cat with a hair fetish, I kid you not. It’s cute sometimes, but not when you’re watching TV while home alone, or talking on the phone and someone starts breathing in your ear really, really hard.

Sometimes I get physical. I throw them down/off/away. I’ve “kicked” (I tapped her with my foot, and she ran) my cat away from the door when she wants to go out. I’ve locked one cat in between the doors because he didn’t want to come away from the outside door, and I was getting yelled at for having it open (before you scream at me, I shut the door, waited for a second, and opened it back up. The cat was having a grand old time watching the dog still. I swear, that cat is mentally retarded). I’ve told a cat I was going to punch him in the face, or throw mine in the blender on liquefy (he was raping my hair and she was walking on my homework).

Under no circumstances would I really harm my animals. I love them to death, even at 230 in the morning when my head suddenly comes under attack from four clawed paws and a set of teeth. I could never, ever live with myself if I brought intentional physical harm on any of them (stepping on them when they won’t move and I’m carrying a box does NOT count as intentional). If they ever suddenly lost their trust in me not harming them, I wouldn’t know what to do. I mean, I sometimes love the animals more than my human family, because they can’t yell at me, and adore me when I give them food (and, in the case of the dog, let him out).

I don’t understand how someone could actually bring harm upon a defenseless animal. I see stories of puppies being burned or left out with no food, water, or shelter during the hottest days of the month. I’ve heard of people throwing a kitten into a pack full of dogs and watching it get ripped apart, or cutting off its whiskers so that it has no sense of balance and basically leaving it to die. I’ve seen starving livestock, and domestic animals that run wild now, scared of humans for some reason I don’t know.

I’ve seen what horrible people can do to animals… But why?

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