I Want to Go Home: Feelings of Solipsism and Lonliness in Nonexistent Nothingness

son_of_disaster's picture

I doubt many of those left on this site remember me very well except those that have had to put up with all my shit through the years. Last year I wrote a blog on how the idea of Nothingness does not exist because it is physically and philosophically impossible for nothing to exist because if it existed then it would be nothing so it wouldn't actually exist. Makes your head hurt, don't it? I encourage you to go read it; it was one of my favorite blogs ever written and most read.

Anyways back on target. Saint_O_Nothing wrote about the idea of Solipsism. It is something that philosophically fascinates me. Maybe not everyone but a few people I know have these moments, including me, where we question everything that goes on. Is this real, what is real, are we actually existing? I have these dreams continually where I die and wake up as a baby screaming in a crib which wakes me up. It makes me think, if we're in a closed system as most of science claims then reincarnation is possible and a better answer than a place where souls go because when souls go to "Heaven" or "Hell", then they leave the system. Unfortunately Newton proves that it is impossible because matter neither is created nor destroyed. Sure going to the mentioned places doesn't destroy matter, but it takes it out of the system and leaves the system lacking that matter.

Another part of people that I run into rarely is the feeling of wanting to go home. I have been able to shut my mind down enough to not think about it so much. However, when things start going bad, I breakdown and lost control of my thoughts. I feel so lonely even amidst people i know and don't know. That is a common occurence but the feeling of sitting in ones own house and saying to themself, I want to go home, is a little rarer. I feel more at home when I get these feelings when I go out and look at the stars, I feel closer to home looking up at that big empty fullness of the sky. No, not like I'm listening to God, but more like that we belong to the universe as the universe belongs to us. We're created from the universe and the universe is created from us. A friend of mine says that we don't feel at home because we don't have our home. We live in our parents home, not our own. I think she is partially right, but maybe home is with a person or in a place. Everything in this universe is connected, maybe our home is where the connection of our being is?

I really don't know, I'm just musing with my thoughts, theories and ideas. Once again some religion, philosophy and a miniscule amount of physics thrown together instead of just one of the three. Cuz everything even idea, all go together like pieces to a puzzle. So why not write about multiple pieces instead of one all the time?

Member of the Progressive U Alumni Association

I hate thinking about philosophy, but love it at the same time. It's overwhelming.
I sometimes think we're reincarnated in the sense that our free energy is transferred to another object, and our current energy state will affect the behaviour of the new organism that arises from our decay. For example, maybe the pesky fly that just won't give up is reflecting a little bit of persistence that a human once had. Who knows. This is just one of my many hypotheses about what's going on in the universe.

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son_of_disaster's picture
Member of the Progressive U Alumni Association

I have had the same thought about reincarnation, but who knows. It'll be interesting to find out.

whispers awnesty's picture
Volunteer for the Progressive U Alumni Association

I really love reading your blogs they always make my brain feel like engaged gears and strong even if I do not know what that means.

I do have one question. You said "Unfortunately Newton proves that it is impossible because matter neither is created nor destroyed. Sure going to the mentioned places doesn't destroy matter, but it takes it out of the system and leaves the system lacking that matter." Does this mean that you (and others) beleive that the soul has matter or energy? I always thought of it as a magic nothing and beyond our understanding and this is why the spirit/soul can do and know so much.

Anyway, do not run off again for awhile k. We tend to miss our buddies.

~T
A nation of well informed men who have been taught to know and prize the rights which God has given them cannot be enslaved. It is in the region of ignorance that tyranny begins. ~Benjamin Franklin

son_of_disaster's picture
Member of the Progressive U Alumni Association

I don't know if a soul even actually exists. I guess I mean being or essence when I say soul. But even then I have no idea if it has matter or energy. When I think of a soul I think of a life force sometimes.

I'll stay for a little bit, already addicted again, lol.

Volunteer for the Progressive U Alumni Association

You might be interested in the neo-Pagan view of magic(k), which is often described as energy in the same or similar sense as science describes energy. In neo-Paganism, like many other religions/spiritualities, the idea of a spirit or soul is often quite a major factor and is often seen as energy in and of itself. In that sense, it could be deduced that Spirit would have to go somewhere when the body dies. Many people interpret that as reincarnation.



I am treated as evil by people who claim that they are being oppressed because they are not allowed to force me to practice what they do. ~D. Dale Gulledge

drifterdani6886's picture
Member of the Progressive U Alumni Association

I love your blogs because you write all the words that I am thinking yet I can't put them together. I feel as though home doesn't have an existance, but I also believe my imagination is to big for myself to handle. I am more so in a dream world than in reality most the time, unless I have to be. I feel home when I am by the ocean alone. I picture it vividly in my mind alot of the time. In my opinion I really don't think I even belong here in this world.

I have a feeling of wanting to go home, but have never found that place. To me it is a non existant place that some desire, but have no idea where it is.

I always wonder if I am in a never ending dream that has yet to finish. Things that happen just don't seem real. Not that I think everything is false, but it just doesn't seem right. I was actually going to write a blog about what it feels like and how it is for people to feel as though reality is not good enough, something along those lines. And express how hard it is to live in a constant dream like state where no one really understands you.

Sorry to disappoint you, but I am voting for Lewis Black.
DrifterDani~

son_of_disaster's picture
Member of the Progressive U Alumni Association

I think the home we're searching for does exist. My only problem with, home is where the heart is that what happens if say, you're in love with someone and as most put it, they "have" your heart. Does that mean you feel closest at home when you're with them?

You should look into Solipsism, you might like the philosophy.

Lol, I like your signature. Lewis Black is fucking hilarious.

drifterdani6886's picture
Member of the Progressive U Alumni Association

I believe it does exist, yet it just seems so unobtainable like you are on a never ending search to find home. I see what you are saying. Maybe people mean by home is where the heart is more like that is where your true comfort and love is. Not like love for someone. I see what you are saying though. Although I am in love it is not home. Maybe some people do feel closest to home when they are with the person. I feel better but not home. I think Dragonwolf has a good point from the Matrix.. I think that could apply to homes as well (what she said)

I will look more into that solipsism, but from reading Saint o nothing's blog I have found a few different things that don't match the way I feel. I think that I am just unique, most times I feel like an outsider because I feel like people don't understand me or feel the way I do.

Lol. Thanks Lewis Black is one of my many favorites. George Carlin was hilarious as well. I figured since I am starting to get to know everyone alot better I would show my smartass sarcastic side.

Sorry to disappoint you, but I am voting for Lewis Black.
DrifterDani~

son_of_disaster's picture
Member of the Progressive U Alumni Association

And I see what you're saying as well. I don't think any philosophy, belief or whatever, ever matches someone completely. No one is entirely classifiable...nothing for that matter is entirely classifiable and definable.

George Carlin, Lenny Bruce and Richard Pryor are the greats and are now all dead. Lewis Black will join them someday I think. We have to remember, bullshit...it's bad for ya, RIP George, haha.

drifterdani6886's picture
Member of the Progressive U Alumni Association

That is true.

I haven't heard of Lenny Bruce, but Richard Pryor was great as well. He too has passed away. I think Lewis Black will join them also. Stephen Lynch is awesome too, he sings and plays guitar but does jokes. You should check him out if you haven't heard him. Here are some links for you:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pPdFrW076R0
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pfFRv_1XdDM&feature=related
He makes fun of the special olympics in one song which is very funny but some people really take that offensely. It really is wrong, but I couldn't help myself when I saw it. I won't post the link though out of respect.

Sorry to disappoint you, but I am voting for Lewis Black.
DrifterDani~

son_of_disaster's picture
Member of the Progressive U Alumni Association

Any comedian who uses profanity freely is indebted to Lenny Bruce. He pushed the bounds of comedy. Lmao, people are too uptight about making fun of things like the special olympics. I have a cat with a limp and I call her gimp, I don't hear anyone calling foul? lol

drifterdani6886's picture
Member of the Progressive U Alumni Association

I will have to look him up. Well put I agree about people being too up tight. I just wouldn't want to offend someone with something like that, anything else I really don;t care. If you get a chance listen to that song. Special Olymics by Stephen Lynch. Is your cat's name gimp or do you just call her that? Because that would be kind of funny.lol. I call my cat a fat fuck because I can't get him to stop eating. I try to limit his food and feed the other cat, but he trys to steal it. I am about to lock his ass up or walk his fat ass on a leash.

Sorry to disappoint you, but I am voting for Lewis Black.
DrifterDani~

son_of_disaster's picture
Member of the Progressive U Alumni Association

Her name is maggie but she goes by multiple names such as faggie maggie and gimp, lol. I love playing with words when with names and appearances. You should just call him Garfield and not worry about it, rofl.

Volunteer for the Progressive U Alumni Association

They say home is where the heart is, and I think that's at least partially true. The idea of home is a lot like the idea of love. Like the Oracle from The Matrix said, "no one can tell you you're in love, you just know it, through and through. Balls to bones." It's kind of the same idea with the idea of "being home."

I believe in three things:

  1. I believe in reincarnation
  2. I believe that our incarnations don't always have to be human
  3. I believe that, at least sometimes, impressions, feelings, attributes, etc from our past lives can be carried over into our current life and future lives

Going by these beliefs, explaining your feeling of being "home" under a starry sky might indicate that your soul may have once been a bat, or other nocturnal animal. Therefore, the feeling of security and peace that often comes with being "home," possibly stems from that former life.



I am treated as evil by people who claim that they are being oppressed because they are not allowed to force me to practice what they do. ~D. Dale Gulledge

son_of_disaster's picture
Member of the Progressive U Alumni Association

I like that quote from the Matrix. I think you're right about it applying to home too.

blackout's picture
Volunteer for the Progressive U Alumni Association

...is that the universe is a vast and wonderful place, full of meaning for those who are not so attached to their own ego that they cannot reconcile with the idea that they will not continue on "forever." I also believe that many people are willing to imagine scenarios in which they DO go on forever, as a means of numbing themselves from the hard and cold reality of their own inevitable deaths, rather than just facing the facts and doing their best to live the best and most fulfilling life that they can in the here and now.

TTFN,
Blackout

-------------------------

Yes, I've changed my username from "percivale" to "Blackout." Go here if you want to know why.

son_of_disaster's picture
Member of the Progressive U Alumni Association

Hey Percivale or, er Blackout.

I believe that you're right, the universe is much fuller of meaning to existence and everything than any religion and science gives it credit for.

As you know me from my writing, I don't subscribe to any thoughts really on what happens after we die. I just write about the thoughts in my head at the moment and how it could be possible. Some days I think and contemplate one thing and the next it is another. That's why I live my life as best I can, the way I want, as you put it. If this is my first and last time to be alive, I want to be remembered by someone even though it is pointless to the universe because this all will end. I'll see what happens when I die, but I'm not going to get my hopes up.

Member of the Progressive U Alumni Association

I agree with the cold-hard reality of inevitable death part.

And the vastness of the universe seems to be more of a fact than a matter of belief. By definition it is infinate.

But I doubt that the Universe is filled with or has any particular meaning any more than a rock is endowed with such qualities. There is lots to explore and plenty of science yet to be done.

Member of the Progressive U Alumni Association

Newton's Law about matter not being created or destroyed is dated. It was updated by Einstein and other nuclear phyiscists who found that matter could be transformed into energy (fission) and that energy could be transformed into matter (fusion). In the former case the matter is indeed destroyed and in the latter it is created. Or, another way of understanding this is to think of matter and energy as just different forms of the same thing.

In any case, I am not certain if it is a chemistry, physics or philosophy problem but I question your implicit assumption that souls are made out of matter and then using this assumption to disprove the existence of Heaven and Hell.

Science generally and very particularly Newtonian science mainly focuses on describing and understanding the Natural world. Things like souls, heaven and hell seem to me to fall into the realm of the super-natural and therefore defy description by laws intended to explain the natural world. Science has never been able to even prove the existence or non-existence of the super-natural world.

son_of_disaster's picture
Member of the Progressive U Alumni Association

I don't assume the soul is matter, nor our being or essence. I was just giving possibilities. You're right, the supernatural can't be studied by science because it's beyond natural...hell it might not even exist.

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