It’s all about us- the few, the proud, the American. Our values are different- family is no longer the centerpiece of life. We care about ourselves, and our image. Image is everything. Dress to impress. Image sells. Look your best. Work so hard that you don’t rest, then you can keep up with the best. Just tell me how great I am. Do it.
Many Americans sacrifice vacations, quiet time, and walks in the park for houses, cars, and branded luxury items. In many other countries, the exact opposite view is common. I once had a friend from Colombia whose family sold their only car to take a backpacking trip to Europe as a family. My American family and I thought this was insane-who would want to do such a thing? I would have loved it. My Colombian friends came back with stories to tell, and dreams of saving for another car. I had another foreign friend who told me a story about dressing and living quite modestly as a child, but traveled all over the world before reaching age 15. Now, she is grateful that she accepted the tradeoff. I had another American friend who was dirt poor growing up, but her family always took the time to go to parks, see dollar movies, and take afternoon walks together. She has now outgrown the ragged clothes and old house, but still has the memories to take with her forever. My family was the kind who would sacrifice everything to look rich- my dad worked long hours to pay for the big house on the hill, yet we never got to live. I was always jealous my friend who got to go to the park and walk places. I secretly wished that my family could play board games on the weekends, yet I never felt any gratification from living in a “better” house or knowing that my parents had 8 cars (which weren’t all that nice) just because they liked the reaction they got from telling people that they had 8 cars. My dad sacrificed his health and well being by sacrificing sleep, exercise, and being stressed out all the time because of his excessive debt. Unfortunately, this is the case in many American families. The pressure to look good to others is so overwhelming that experiences seem worthless compared to the glory of appearance. Nobody ever receives complements for being cultured, traveling, or being a good parent, yet anyone who has purchased a new car, the ‘it’ bag of the season, or worn designer jeans knows that complements pour when appearance is concerned. I am guilty as well- I buy new clothes each season, skim all the authoritative mags for what to wear, and long for a huge house with a shiny new car out front. I’ve recently became less obsessed with the last two, but I still can’t seem to shake my clothing obsession. Unlike houses and cars, everyone sees what you’re wearing. Your coworker might not complement you on a new couch, but she will definitely complement you if she sees your new shoes. The nation is addicted to complements, and there is no other fix to satisfy the craving.
I know that feeling of satisfaction and security in one's self after someone give me a compliment, i know that it can be addicting, and i know what both of those sides feel like. I am from a mexican family who has struggled ever since i can remember to live a decent life, my uncle has a lot of money but also sacrifices relationships with his wife and kids. I think i can say for sure that even though we don't go to disneyland every year or each own an i-pod, i-phone and brand clothes, we are much happier as a humble family than they are as a rich one living in a gated community.
While brand names do bring compliments they also intimidate people and make one seem somehow stuck-up or wanting to feel superior, this is scary for other (less afortunate) people, i know because i've felt that way when i see someone like that. There used to be times when i longed to save my money so i could go buy a shirt from Aeropostale or Abercombie Fitch, a pair of D&G shades or a Coach bag, then i realized that they aren't really my style and they're ridiculously over-priced items for the same quality of other less-expensive items i can look good in and afford.
I began shopping for clothes that fully embraced my personal style: sophisticated, chic, "nerdy" but cute, girly but boyish at the same time (ties are one of my favorite accessories), although hardly -if any- of these clothes came from expensive brand-name stores, i began to feel good because i was finally dressing the way i wanted to, and i could afford it. People at school began to notice my newly found confidence and the compliments began pouring in. Now i'm comfortable whether i wear a skirt and my dorky glasses, or a pair of cute jeans, my coat and a tie with contacts.
I later began to notice that while those people with expensive clothes did seem to laugh a lot and smile and always be happy, they all looked like clones. All dressed out of magazines, all identical because they all only hung out with people of their same status, and when none of their friends were around for any given reason, all their confidence seemed to vanish into thin air, they became insecure bodies looking for someone to walk them places because they couldn't stand the feeling of being thought of as loners.
I personally stopped caring whether or not i looked like a loner because i know that i have many friends that hang out in different places, and if say i'm walking from one group to the other by myself, i might appear as a loner for a few minutes, but nothing that anyone thinks will change the fact that i have friends and we all know it.
Try to be who you really are, and remember that clothes don't make a person, your personality can make you glow (and once that happens, the compliments will come pouring in). Child, if you don't have confidence, fake it, no one will know, and as soon as they notice it, they'll be jealous of it and show it in some way wether it be through looks, stares or just plain compliments. That will eventually build real confidence for you. Don't be afraid to try new things, but remember to always keep your personal essence and change only for yourself, not anybody else.
~Bookworm62591♥
"A person doesn't die when he should but when he can."
- Gabriel Garcia Marquez, One Hundred Years of Solitude
"close your eyes, clear your heart..." Allama Iqbal...An Ode to the Cup Bearer<