Those nasty, bad Muslims started the tradition. Those nasty, bad black people started the tradition. Those nasty, bad homosexuals started the tradition. Those nasty, bad Mexicans started the tradition.
No matter which group you insert... it's not a very pleasant statement is it? It, more than likely, offended a few of you. It probably made a few of you want to tell me where to stick it. I don't really blame you; it's just not a very nice statement to make about any group, especially if you don't even know enough about that group to make such an assessment.
During a recent segment of The Today Show, Kathy Gifford was quizzing people on wedding traditions. One of the questions that came up about why we wear wedding rings where we do was multiple choice and for some reason, one of the answers to the question referenced Pagans as the creators of the tradition.
When it came time for her to read that particular answer, she couldn't resist adding in the nasty, bad Pagan dig. It was, I think, meant to be a joke. It was, however, a joke made in ignorance and one that many took offense too.
I wasn't particularly offended by the statement. What irritated me was the ignorance of the statement. I would have been happy with just telling her to get a clue. The statement, however, offended many in the community.
It was an offensive statement to many because in their views, it maligned a group of people for no reason other than because the speaker was ignorant and couldn't resist getting that dig in there. Many others felt, quite rightly, that such a statement would not be tolerated if it were about another religion or group of people. It wouldn't. Even in jest, such a statement would not be tolerated. Had it been the nasty, bad any group I added in that first paragraph, people would have been angry. I wouldn't have blamed them.
Calling a group nasty and bad in any context in which you're obviously ignorant calls for a little irritation. Ignorance is, in and of itself, quite irritating. That we're continuously forced to deal with it makes it even more irritating.
But, you don't fight ignorance with hastily written letters. You fight ignorance with education. I wrote that letter instead. The one extending an invitation for her to get a clue by way of a little information on Paganism today and in a historical context. The one that provided that very information. I didn't ask for an apology because there is no apology, in my view, that makes ignorance anything less than ignorant.
At any rate, quite a few in the community sent in their letters asking for an apology because the statement and the ignorance inherent in the statement was quite upsetting to them. On Friday, this is what they received from Gifford and the Today Show by way of apology:
Until you add in the smirks, the uncontrollable giggles of her co-host, and the reference about the millions and millions it sounds almost half meant. The apology, however, actually managed to offend me infinitely more than the original statement did.
Ignorance, despite being offensive, is tolerable if tolerate it I must. I meet that with what education I can provide. But, you can't fix stupid if stupid wishes to remain. Bullshit apologies that serve only to fan the flames and show how reluctant you were to make an apology in the first place are, however, infuriating.
I can understand that she is ignorant and quite willing to remain that way. I can understand that she is a born again Christian... one of those whom feel that everything other than being a born again Christian is bad bad bad. What I cannot understand is why in the world she even bothered to apologize if she was going to smirk through the entire thing knowing full well that by doing so, she was going to upset people even more than they were already upset? The simple fact is, she never meant the apology and quite likely, didn't give a damn.
People ask all the time why I bother rallying for religious minorities. This, my friends, is exactly why.
It doesn't matter if you offend a religious minority. It doesn't matter if you make a ridiculous apology or simply stand by your original ignorant statement. It doesn't matter if you pass along all sorts of full of shit statements about those religions or if you tell others to pretend they don't exist.
You can say what you want, do what you want and most will look the other way, applaud you or giggle beside you. They're religious minorities, who cares if it bothers them? They aren't Christian, call them evil! They're religious minorities, they don't have a big enough presence to demand the respect, let alone enough of a voice to garner that respect.
They simply don't have enough sway to make you feel the repercussions of those actions. They can stop watching your show and it will barely register in the ratings. They can stop buying your products and your sales will barely move. They can rally all they want, but kids die all the time, who cares if little Tempest Smith did because she was a religious minority and thought there was no other answer? Who cares if Tom lost his kids? I mean, my God, he was Pagan! He was probably sexually abusing them anyway!
It is the ignorance, the disregard and the obliviousness that keep me going. It's the stupid smirks, the bullshit statements and the turn a blind eye mentality that makes it worth it. Some people, no matter how much they wish to stand up, are simply too afraid to push to their feet. Some people can't stomach the constant disregard, the constant ignorance and the happy obliviousness. Others don't want to be the one without a family because they made a different religious choice and said so aloud.
I'm not afraid, I'm irritated. I will keep being irritated for as long as it takes for others to get irritated too. I will keep opening my big mouth to point out another path every time someone who thinks it's okay opens theirs. And I will keep supporting others as they decide to stand up too. My voice may not change much, but it is my voice. I have the ability, the right and a responsibility to use it. And I will until it fails me completely or is no longer needed; whichever comes first.
Religious minority shouldn't be synonymous with sitting duck or acceptable target and it saddens me just as much as it angers me that people like Gifford are still too stupid to realize that and yet... still have the power to garner support and sway opinion. It's not religious minorities that are the problem, it's the Giffords of the world and their stupidity and yes, it's the people who are too lazy to stand up for others because they don't think what happens to those others affects them.
Seems to me we thought the same thing several times in the past. Any guesses as to how often that worked out?
It didn't.
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I applaud you. Standing up for religious minorities is something that desperately needs to be done. It constantly saddens me that our country is going farther and farther down the road to pandering to a Christian audience without acknowledging other religions. It's even started to creep into proposed laws that have no basis other than religious doctrine.
I don't know what to do about it, though, other than continuing to speak up. Hopefully that will change attitudes, slowly but surely.
And quite frankly, Gifford seems like one of those "mean girls" who was only brave in like-minded groups. I agree, though, the comment itself was not as offensive as the insincere "apology" that came afterwards.
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Honest disagreement is often a good sign of progress. --Mahatma Gandhi
My Blog: http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/kablock
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I don't know what to do about it, though, other than continuing to speak up.
First, thank you for speaking up and taking a stand! It always makes me happy to hear that others are taking a stand and how they're doing it. That's important first steps!
Encouraging others to stand up and supporting them is always helpful. So too is passing on word and taking action when things (such as religiously oriented legislation, flak from public officials, etc) comes up. Talking to those who have deal with discrimination and persecution and telling their stories to others, opening lines of discussion about these issues and others like them and correcting misinformation about religious minorities and instances can go a long way as well.
It's easy to feel indifferent when you don't have a face to put to what is being said.. it becomes a lot harder when you can connect those things to real people and hear what they've gone through because they made a different religious choice. It's also infinitely easier to believe what someone says if there is no one around that has different information. Giving a different perspective for people to consider may not seem like much, but can be what sends those same individuals on a research foray to figure it out for themselves. And education is a great thing!
Volunteering for organizations that work on such issues is also always a big help. Groups like The Interfaith Alliance works with many groups, minority and other, across the nation on religious freedom issues. Foundation for Religious Freedom and Spirit and Sky both list links to various organizations and resources as well.
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~Fallon~
"If I fall asleep with a pen in my hand, don't remove it - I might be writing in my dreams."- Pace
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I would have laughed hysterically if the person she was quizzing was a Pagan. I was a little miffed by the comment, but would have easily overlooked it had I not heard about this. That's simply a rude and ridiculous statement to make, and she really needs to get a clue.
~C
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Apologizing for being an utter effing idiot does NOT make someone less of an idiot.
Good for you for schooling them a little! Religious intolerance...or ANY intolerance, really...is usually born of ignorance. An inability to see another person's perspective is a serious personal defect, IMHO.
http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/ediblewoman
I wonder if she had a writer, or if she was just making up what she was saying as she went along. I felt that several of her comments in the clip were offensive, and I just watched up until she made the comment you were talking about. I felt like she was stereotyping the woman who she said she wouldn't want to mess with because she was bigger. Whenever she asked "What would be an inappropriate thing to wear to a wedding, besides what you're wearing?" then followed up with some kind of just kidding comment I would have been pretty irritated if I was that woman. It seems like she thinks being offensive is funny or something.
I feel bad for anyone that had to take home her CD!
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I just read your post and really enjoyed it. I too was only mildly irritated by the comment Gifford made. My life is busy and full and really - let's just chalk it up to ignorance, consider the source and move on.
However, after reading you post I realized something I had forgotten. Sometimes we need to take a stand. Just because it is the right thing to do. Just because someone keeps erasing that line in the sand and we need to draw it again. And again. And again until they realize we are not going away, that we are not going to tuck tail and run. That even if we are one voice we will scream out until the echo of our outrage deafens them.
As the mother of a special needs child I understand the need to stand up and speak out but as a pagan. . . well, isn't that like whispering help in a hurricane? And that is exactly what I was thinking when I began reading your post until something you wrote reminded me of a poem by Pastor Martin Niemoller. He was an early supporter of Hilter who, long story short, came to see the error of this view. Here is his poem:
When the Nazis came for the communists,
I remained silent; I was not a communist.
When they came for the Catholics,
I remained silent; I was not a Catholic.
When they came for the trade unionists,
I did not speak out; I was not a trade unionist.
When they came for the Jews,
I did not speak out; I was not a Jew.
When they came for me, there was no one left to speak out.
You're right, we must take a stand. In our living rooms, on our computers, in parking lots, on the interstate in our cars. . . when you see a wrong, right it. When you see someone that needs help, help them. No matter what you think one day that will be you.
Susan