My love story

Ok so I was talking to one of my friends today about the person I fell in love with and have never gotten over and I could tell she really didn’t believe me so I decided to write about it. So it's really a little weird. The whole thing doesn’t make sense. Ok I have had a crush on this guy since like 4th grade and a few years later he started to like me to and I was so scared. I really liked him and did not want to mess it up. I had liked guys before but I had never gotten butterflies when he said my name or could know exactly what he was thinking by just looking in his eyes or spent every moment, waking and even not waking thinking about him and when I looked in his eyes it felt like time had stopped and that we were the only people in the room and oh man his smell just seeing him took my breath away and it's weird but it's like I had him radar I always knew where he was. Well guess what I blew it. He got sick of waiting around for me to finally be his girlfriend. I've never regretted anything more in my life then that. I remember that day like it's a movie I've seen a 100 times. I remember looking in his eyes and literally seeing his heart breaking. It hurt so much. It actually physically hurt. It hurt to breathe and it felt like I would never be happy again and it felt like I just disappointed the only person who ever really cared about me. Well the best part of the whole thing is that I've had to sit here and watch him go through girl after girl and everyone falling head over heals for him and he broke every one of there hearts. But every Valentine’s Day it takes me back to those few months. And I think it does the same for him because since then he has never been in a relationship on Valentines Day. (Valentines Day was D-Day). No we never kissed or held hands or had sex but that's how I know I love him. We never had to do any of that to fall in love. I still have those same feelings every time I look him in the eyes (which I try hard to avoid)!!! After that whole screwing up thing I've said I hate him which sometimes I do but it's weird I've never hated someone so much and loved someone so much at the same time. There’s definitely no way we will ever date. Honestly on the hottness scale he is way hotter then me but the fact that we once could have been makes it all a little better. I know I loved him because we were so young and it made no sense. Love doesn’t make sense it just is. It seems like I love him most when he isn’t talking. I love just his way. The way he moves and the way he breathes...Well anyway take this blog however you want to. If you don’t believe me or don’t care that's fine with me but at least I've let it out.