I think high school is an experience that is one of the hardest to forget. Personally, I entered high school not knowing much and i summited myself for an adventure filled with discoveries and life lessons. This part is one of many:
It was freshman year that i learned i was a lesbian. honestly, i was somewhat scared. Just like any gay, lesbian, bi, or transgender person would be. it was hard to tell people or to come out, because i was raised (still am, actually) in a homophobic family. i know that if i let my secret out, my parents would be highly dissapointed. I dont know why, but as their daughter, i just know they will be. Mother would probably cry everyday and my dad would never look at me the same again. i would simply break their hearts.
[Dont get me wrong, my parents are just like any typical asian parents. They love me to pieces and they have spent their lifetime trying to raise my younger brother and i properly. They've made sure we have everything we need in order to be successful in school and our future].
Well, back to what i was saying: So i stayed silent. I didnt even tell my friends yet, because i was so convinced that if my parents/aunts/uncles would not accept me for who i am, then no one would. Sometimes my little secret burns inside of me and i just want to scream it out, but so many times i stifled myself. I was afraid to be viewed and judge against as "different".
Then, one amazing night at my friend's house, i decided to tell them. it was not planned, but it happened anyways. that night was our monthly girls night where its completely safe to share our little secrets and gossips. it was my turn to go, and i told them i wasnt straight and about my relationship with my girlfriend freshman year. eventhough they were very suprised, they accepted me for who i am until today. Now, im very comforatable with my sexual orientation and i just dont care what my peers think of me. however, i still do not know when it will be the day where i am going to tell my family.
surely i can say im a fortunate person to have so many close friends who support me in everything. but i still have to face descrimination and stereotypes everyday.
it bothers me when ignorant people view homosexuals as abominations or freaks; or when they have they stereotypical of how all homosexuals/bi/trans people have aids.
Who should be more frowned upon? homo/bi/trans who faces oppression and descrimnation everyday? or those homophobics who cant face reality?
Homophobics are the ones who can't face reality and should be frowned upon.. by the way this is coming from a christian. I do believe that religion puts alot unwanted stress on gays/lesbians. Those who were once into the Christian faith have ran away from it because of those Christians who tell the gay community that they are going to hell. I really don't understand why some of us call eachother Christians when we can't treat someone else like a human being. But its always good to have friends who are there for you and will support you no matter what.
my blog!! http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/fighter25
Of course it is your life and your choice, but I think you should tell your parents. It is part of who you are, and if they cannot accept you for that, it is better that you know and come to terms with it rather than live your life wondering if they can accept who their daughter really is.
She should wait until she is no longer dependent on her parents before telling them if she decides to tell them at all. Socially Conservative families that think of it as a disease or as an abnormality in need of therapy have a history of putting their kids through hell. Pragmatically speaking, she should wait until she is no longer a dependent before telling them so that if things do go south, she won't be forced to do anything with no legal recourse available to her.
Knowing nothing of her situation other then her family being hostile to GLBT people, it is foolish to advise her to do anything other than to use her own discretion in coming up with a solution.
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"We cannot redeem evil, we must combat it." -- Jean Paul Sartre
Good for you for at least telling your friends. But you really need to tell your parents. Who knows maybe they wont act like you think they will.
I also believe homophobics should be frowned upon (this is also coming from a Christian). One thing the Bible teaches is to love everybody, regardless of who they are. We have no right to make fun of, hate or discriminate against eachother no matter what.
Off the religious tangent, I would tell your parents. One of my good friends in high school came out to her parents in her Junior year. It was so hard and her parents would barely talk to her for a year. That year was her hardest time. BUT, slowly her parents accepted the fact she was a lesbian and nothing would change it.
It's one of the "lessons to life" my psych professor has taught us. (Except he taught it relating to a bad relationship but it applies to all aspects of life0
When you have something that's burdening you and weighing you down, it's like carrying around a 20 pound rock and being scared to drop it on your toe. You constantly hold on to this rock because you know that when you drop it, it'll hit your toe and it's going to hurt like hell, and you're so scared of being hurt.
Then one day, you decide to drop the rock. It hits your toe and breaks it and causes severe pain. It takes awhile to get over it, but eventually the wound will heal. The good part is, you don't have to carry around that rock anymore, it's gone.
It's ultimately your choice, but I believe it'll make life a lot easier to live without hiding that secret.
You for who you are. It's unbelievable how bigoted some people are though. I remember when my best friend -- who I'd known since birth -- came out to me. She was worried that I'd think differently of her despite knowing that my support of GLBT rights was because I agree with the decision handed down in Loving v. Virginia which states that marriage is "a fundamental right". To me, it doesn't matter who you're married (or not married) to any more then it matters who you're attracted to. Just as long as you're happy.
Personally, I think that her home situation made her worried about coming out to me, and she still isn't out to her mother (despite being in her early 20's now) because of that situation. Of all the pointless things in the world to hate people for, I really wonder why our culture has picked sexual orientation/gender identity as one of them.
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"We cannot redeem evil, we must combat it." -- Jean Paul Sartre