Unfortunately, I am a very impatient person. I would probably even say that this is my biggest flaw. I just started back to school in January and with all of the other things going on in my life, I am so pressed for time that I actually get angry when someone asks me a question because I just keep thinking of all the things I still need to do and the amount of time I have to get them done. Then I move on to guilt because of my reaction of anger to someone else’s innocent question. It’s a never-ending cycle that I REALLY want to break. I hate the fact that I am taking out my stress on others. It really isn’t fair to them.
So begins my next topic of impatience and some things I have learned from google. When I did an Internet search for the word “impatience” I learned that it is considered a MAJOR personality flaw. Well, okay, I knew that already. I also learned that people tend to regard those who are impatient as arrogant and insensitive. This is not the message I want to convey to those around me. I know that I am no better than anyone else. Certain things I am good at, so people ask me questions about those things. There are also many things that I am terrible at and I would ask other people questions about those things. I know that I would feel pretty stupid if someone responded so impatiently to me, so why do I continue to do it to others? I really do not do it on purpose, it just happens to be the first reaction I have.
On a site that explains impatience and how to overcome it, I learned that I most likely give away little clues when communicating with others that show I am not being as patient as I should. So what are my “tells”? If I can first recognize these things, maybe I can work on changing my behavior, both verbal and nonverbal. I know that it is evident in the way that I speak to people, almost condescending at times. I honestly do not act this way because I think they are stupid, I just keep thinking of the lack of time I have to complete the tasks I have to do and that I did not schedule any time to talk.
So now I know that stress and time constraints are the cause of my impatience, but what I don’t know how to do is catch myself before I react in any kind of way that would imply impatience to those around me. How do you stop yourself from reacting in ways that you know you shouldn’t? How do you suppress things that seem to come out of your mouth before your brain has a chance to process them and stop them? How can a person work to achieve patience in such an impatient world?
I am the same way, and I hate it.
The thing I try to look at is being patient might yield a better reward than just coming out and saying something because you are getting irritated. But I wish I could give you better advice than that. I am very patient.
For example if you are waiting in line and it is taking forever, when you finally get to the front of the line and purchasing your items just give a sigh of relief that you made it through it and it was worth waiting. Then when you walk out of the store get into your car and you can cuss to yourself... but you may be relieved by letting it go.
I really wish I could relate and help you better. I also don't get mad easily. I have went off on someone maybe 2 times in my entire life. BUT this is acually very bad. Because it builds up, so when I explode it is like hell. That is my flaw.
Appreciate your impatience if you can't find ways to fix it. It is part of who you are. My boyfriend is extremely impatient and he will stay mad over something the entire day. I don't see a point. Yes it makes you angry but staying mad? It isn't solving anything.
I am here to inform and help:
http://www.progressiveu.org/032913-lupus-uncureable-wait-what
Love comments? I do too!
Well, on the plus side, I guess it can be a little better just to let out frustration as it comes instead of letting it build and fester and result in a complete nervous breakdown. I'm not sure if that's what happens to you or not, but I am guessing that would be the opposite of me. I don't tend to hold on to things for very long. I get mad and get it over with. If I don't have a chance to vent, I just end up holding it in, which I think is worse since it makes my entire mood kind of pissy in general.
I normally just try to let little shit go. If it is a big problem I will say something. Certain things like going and telling my manager to go fu*k off I can't do. I have never met a women who I have wanted to choke so badly...so she would just shut up. She has no right to be a manager...and does things all wrong. I get along with nearly everyone. But she is only the 2nd person in my entire life I have that i have had a huge issue with. Another problem I don't have people to vent to since I don't have friends, My dad will say that's life...yeah I know but I would like positive feed back.
I don't have a nervous breakdown, I have had those before but not from anger. i also will punch or break shit if I get to angry so I have to try to chill. It is mainly holding certain things in that I can't tell other people. Like I can't tell my dad nicely that he is doing something wrong..because he takes it the wrong way and will be pissed off.
My issue is people who are angry alot I try to avoid. It stresses me out when people get really angry and causes me to have panic attacks. It is from my mom. she used to get angry alot and get ready to punch me if I were to say how I felt even in a nice way. I will get jumpy and get afraid I will be hit when people get angry that is my main point.
That is good you don't hold on to things. I let them go easily. But anger wise like work, or my family I have no choice but to let it build this was mainly what I was talking about. Like my aunt who has called me fat when I was younger and made statements like "one day you will be pretty". She also told me "well how come you can't parallel park? You need to get your license" Your cousin can do it and he is 12." I said good for him. I almost told her he shouldn't even be driving. She just thinks she is right about everything and I can't stand people like that. I don't talk to her anymore which is good. Next time I do if she says something wrong I will go off. I debate it because I don't want to lose my uncle. he is blood related and my mom's brother.
This was mainly what I am getting at. Little things don't bother me. So I hardly get mad. But I have never had closure. I have never told off my bestfriends for what they have done to me. I don't tell my boyfriend sometimes if he annoys me because he gets mad easily, so I try to avoid having panic attacks...certain things I can't help but to keep inside. I hope you understand where I'm coming from because I see what you are saying. :)
It is very important, however, to let people know how you feel. Your boss I can understand you keeping quiet, but your boyfriend and father should know how things make you feel. If you keep everything inside all the time, you are just giving others an excuse to walk all over you. They may not be doing it now, but down the road and they won't even realize it because they'll still be expecting you to just take whatever they dish out.
Just be careful....protect yourself ;)