:-B
I am an 18 year old senior. I was raped over the summer. I found out in September I was 2 months pregnant. It's been a lonely road.
The guy who got me pregnant left and wants nothing to do with me or the baby. What do I do? Nothing. He doesn't matter to me at all. I'm having a boy. I named him Robert. I am almost 8 months now. The hardest part is explaining that this wasn't your fault, you were a victim. No one believes a teen. People always believe they got pregnant because they fooled around. 1 of every 4 girls that ended up pregnant were raped.
It's okay I don't need people to believe me. I know the truth. Haven't decided if i'll tell my baby when he gets older. I have to go to college at the end of this year. And get a job, and take care of my baby. It's going to be hard. My parents work so they won't be able to help much. The guy i history, and his family is in the army and they are being relocated to North Carolina. No help. Very lonely. Also all my friends are leaving state. I'll mis them. They 've been my support for these last months.
(to be cont.)
You are much braver than I.
I hope you pressed charges, and if you haven't already, do it for the sake of all the other women out there that could become his next victim.
I did not... and I regret it every day.
And I think if people are honest, you'll find there are a lot of girls out there who've been through it. Maybe not the pregnancy part, but definitely the date rape part.
You can still do all the things you hope to do with your life. If you don't have a ready-made support system, build one for yourself. Look into a therapist, a support group for teenage mothers or a support group for victims of sexual violence, and look into financial aid and child care aid for students who are parents. Also look into ECFE (Early Childhood Family Education). There are organizations out there to help. You might meet some friends in a support group or ECFE. If the organizations aren't available where you live, consider moving. You CAN do it!
http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/ediblewoman
I've been in your shoes minus the rape.
But it is not as hard as you think. It takes a village to raise any child and friends are your village. We are in the age of technology: IM, email, webcam, facebook, myspace, cell phone, your friends are only a second away so stay in touch with them. It is ok but be alittle scared. I am currently in college working two jobs and taking care of a (almost) two year old. And i still find time to kick it with my friends.
I am not saying that is is easy as pie. But if you love your son you will find a way. You don't want to get stuck in the system all your life. Take it one day at a time.
And go to school it is the most important thing to do right now. And enjoy your graduation, mother or not you only get one of those. You were a victim but don't stay one.
As to whether or not you should tell the child when he grows up...that's clearly up to you. It seems a little unfair to not let Robert know, but on the other hand I wonder how he would react to the truth.
You are very brave and I applaud you for keeping the baby.
I wish you the best of luck. That situation is very difficult and I hope the best. :)
+mspin
wow! admirable to keep going, i might say.
so you're going to take care of the baby?
Yes, my plan as of right now is to take care of the baby with support from my parents. I will also be holding a job so I can pay for expenses. I also am going to the Community College so I can continue my education.
Stay strong : )