General Studies and the search for an appreciating future

I sit here on the computer at Salt Lake Community College hoping for hope and longing for an actual idea that makes sense to me. You see ladies and gentleman I am a freshman college student who, after numerous changes to my major, have decided on General Studies as the title of my graduation diploma for the simple fact that its the only major that makes sense to me. I have tried the obvious Criminal Justice and decided that it was too bland for my taste. Then I decided on Health Services thinking, at the time, that I could help many more people than with just a criminal justice degree on my resume. Maybe I could be a doctor, or an EMT Paramedic, or (thinking at the time that I had just seen The Gaurdian) I could join the Coast Gaurd. After so many desicisions in my head have come and gone the only premise that still remains is that I want an actual career where I feel I can help people and make a difference not only in society but in my heart as well. The cop was an thrilling first choice for me. It's what I did my senior project on in high school and thats what my goal was set on when I graduated a couple months later. Though with research and interviews abundant in my mental portfolio I decided that not only would a police officer be a bad desicion as a life long career but also a moral dilema on my psyche. You see, I live in a town where the most investigated crime is sexual abuse in the family and where methanphetomine has been on the rise for the past 10 years. Not only do I feel that I would be mentally drained from my new career but I also believe that after a life long passion to help people the only thing I would have done is to of been a speed bump on the social highway. I might not feel that I have really done anything when I look back and see that the people I HAVE helped are not only in need again but no longer need my assistance because the next drone has already come along to be the temporary solution. So next I decide on medicine. Yeah, medicine. There's the career where I can not only help people but also have a perminant lasting effect on there lives by stamping out the cancer that invaded their body or helping the person through detox to never touch that needle again. At this point that sounds like the most sound career I can contemplate. So there I go, I change my major to health science and am ready to get started on the life fulfilling promise of helping my fellow man. Though I look and see that there are so many, so many people that are wanting this exact thing. The waiting list for the nursing program has reached two years and I start at the bottom, waiting for my number to be called. As I go about doing the research and interviews again I see the passion and dedication for what some people do. Proffesors of anatomy are so articulate and strong willed when difining their self willed careers and students of medicine are thrilled with what lies ahead for them in the near future. The same passion and excitement is abundantly clear in the students eyes and voice when they talk about the many possible fields of medicine that are available to them. So why do I sit here and tell you that my major is General Studies? With the text I have layed before you it seems as if medicine is the career I am drawn to right? The answer to the questions might seem abundantly clear to you but as I type I am more perplexed and divided than I've ever been. You see I have never been the kind of person to have encouragement and dedication consistantly pushed upon him. I lost my father when I was 8 months old and have since been raised by my single mother who is famous for the term "to make ends meet". From job to job my mother roamed all the while obligated to me and my health. So as I graduated high school with a 1.99 GPA and a thurst for something new, I never really came to terms with an exact thought of what I needed to do in my life. I dont want to make it seem like I had a bad mother and that Im some selfish brat who thinks that she should of concentrated on me more than her own life. I only want to state what (in my opinion) is my state of mind today. Since the 3 and a half years of my high school graduation I have learned not only to fend for myself for my future but also that there are so many choices that I simply can not choose just one at this time. I was not prepared for this as I entered the real world at the age of 17. So as some of you have already got your careers on the path to greatness and the parents paving the way I just wish I had an idea of what my life is ready for. I do want something more, I do want to be appreciated when I look back on my life in the years to come. So there is where General Studies comes in. I have ideas and possibly many others to come full in my head and right now I cant piece the puzzle together. So I decided on General Studies. I know a college degree will open more doors for me than if I didnt have one so a simple, non-specific, I-want-to-learn transfer degree makes the most sense to me right now. I have decided to plow my way through this associates degree and hopefully graduate next spring, fall at the latest. I do not know what happens after that. Maybe I'll transfer up to University and major in Health Science after all. Or maybe I'll put the two year degree on a resusme and accept a $35,000 a year job as a police officer instead. The one thing I know for sure though is: That I want a reason why its good that Im here.