Throughout your life you have probably dealt with or will deal with stereotypes. I know I have. All throughout middle school and now high school I was stereotyped as a shy person. That made me feel different from everyone else, which didn't help my self-esteem. Even my parents used to say, "Oh she's just a little shy" to their friends and co-workers...eventually, that began to shape how I saw myself and ultimately, my behavior, and I wasn't trying to fight it.
Having that stuck to me, it was hard for me to think about how I could change, come out of my shell a little. I admit that I was pretty introverted, and felt that I could only express myself well when writing. The thing of it is..at home I felt like myself, I could express myself openly without a care, but when I went to school, it was as if I froze up. I admit that I used to care too much of what others thought about me, and therefore had a hard time openly expressing myself.
For years I struggled with this 'shy' label that I thought would never go away, I began to ponder what my life would be like in a few years, when I would have to face reality: the world. I thought I would always have that never ending fear of going out into the world, experiencing change..
You may have noticed that most of this blog is written in past tense (even though I am still thought of as the shy girl.) This is because all of what I told you is beginning to change. I used to see myself as a victim, with a my-life-was out-of-my-control type of attitude. It took me a while, and a talk with my mom to realize - hey, this isn't who I am, it's just how people see me. Bottom line- I was letting others control how I saw myself, through their eyes.
I feel that when people stereotype others, they are over-generalizing them as a person, which can lead to them underestimating that person's potential to be someone totally different. Here's my advice to all, don't stick people into categories and label them. Although it is human nature to categorize things, I don't feel it should be that way with people. Get to know individuals for who they are not what a label might say they are.
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Nice story. I'm touched that you shared it with all of us and I'm glad to hear that you are changing to become more of "yourself" around other people. I've said this before on another person's blog that most people are labeled because it's just easy to categorize a person -- and for most people, it's easy to conform to that label's confinements.
"When people stereotype others, they are over-generalizing them as a person, which can lead to them underestimating that person's potential to be someone totally different."
Couldn't have phrased it any better.
But I do have to say that I like it when you think you've figured someone out and have them nicely "labeled" to whatever your perception is, they go out and surprise and do something completely opposite of what you thought. Labels do underestimate a person's potential, but hey when people realize that they've underestimated someone, most of the time they regret it.
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"No matter what he does, every person on earth plays a central role in the history of the world. And normally he doesn't know it." -- The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho.
Glad you liked it.
I agree with your statement:
Most people think there's no way out of what others have stuck to them and they never change. I really wanted to get people inspired to either break stereotypes in their own life, and also to look at others for who they truly are.
-Amanda-
I am glad that you have started to do something to change when it would be a very easy cop-out for you to use for the rest of your life even. I was always "the smart one," and even my own friends would try to get me to do their homework for them so they could go out and have their own fun. It definitely takes a strong, determined person to stand up to everyone else around her and do something as positive as taking away the stereotypes in her own life.
It's a challenge sometimes, but I've got to stick to it until the end. Breaking this in my own life will enable me to bring others hope that they can change also.
-Amanda-
Very true...
I agree with your essay. Stereotypes & labels can be hurtful and make it hard for people to change themselves. The thing about being called "shy" is that the word is filled with such negative connotations. Being called shy becomes like being called "loser". The psychiatric community wants to create a pill that makes every person behave exactly the same way. As long as you're not committing crimes, hurting yourself or others, having a slightly different personality may not be a bad thing. You may have a lot of wonderful personal traits and possibly a higher sensitivity to other peoples feelings and that's not a bad thing. I'm not saying that you shouldn't try to grow personally, just that being introverted is not as horrible as extroverted America makes it out to be.
-Totally agree, most of the time it can be negative. By those around me, I no longer want to be treated like I am shy...perhaps just as a mellow, laid back person, because that's who I am. Labels are kind of just based on what people think others are, not who they are...
-What? that sounds ludicrous to me... that would take away individuality..and how do they suppose they would do that any way?
-Amanda-
"The psychiatric community wants to create a pill that makes every person behave exactly the same way."
-What? that sounds ludicrous to me... that would take away individuality..and how do they suppose they would do that any way?
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It's an over-statement for me to say that psychiatrists want us to all behave exactly the same way. There are pills to help with anxiety in social situations and there are pills for all types of psychological issues.
Got it.. that 'over statement' was a little puzzling..
-Amanda-
I don't agree completely. I have always been a shy person. When I had to go in for a parent teacher conference before 5th grade, I didn't say a word to my teacher. It takes me a couple weeks before I can open up to people. But the fact that I know I'm shy, and that I'm labeled as shy by other people makes me want to become more extroverted. And I have. As a college student, I now go to more social programs, talk to people I don't know, and can get up and give a presentation without passing out (as I did for a presentation my freshman year). If I hadn't actually been labeled as shy, I wouldn't have made such an effort to change, and now that I have changed, and continue to change, I'm ok.
Also, some stereotypes don't underestimate people. The stereotype that Asians are smart, for instance, can really hurt an Asian person who struggles in school. In that case, the stereotype is overestimating them, and putting extreme pressure on them. Similarly, labeling someone as 'the smart one', or 'the straight-A student' may be all fine and good throughout middle school, and then in high school, the person struggles to pass, say... English. The expectation that they make those straight A's puts pressure on them, and makes them feel really bad when they can't fit the label.
I'd rather have a stereotype underestimate my potential than overestimate it. Heck, my boyfriend thrived in people underestimating him in high school. And he would proceed to surprise everyone when he actually matched his potential (including me... I now realize he's smarter than me, when he labeled me as the smartest when we met).
~C
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I am one of these "different" kids as well.
But I think, to an extent, everyone is.
I'm not really sure how being "shy" is a stereotype.
I think it would be considered more of a personality type.
You even said yourself that you're "introverted". Which is just another word for the same thing. So if everyone called you an "introverted girl" instead, you would feel better?
It's not saying anything that isn't true, merely a classification process.
A stereotype would be more like someone calling you a "nerd" for understanding computers. "Shy" is more like saying someone is "energetic", or "loud". Stereotypes are usually phrased in noun format, replacing your name with a word that has characteristics attributed to it that may, or may not, apply to you. "Shy" is an adjective, used to describe someone and their true characteristics.
So basically it seems like you're saying if someone had said you were "Charismatic", you would have ultimately believed them and turned out to be an entirely different person.
Alot of people wrestle with identity, and although you make have struggled with your stigma of being the quiet girl for a long time, its ultimately yourself that prevented you from being more outgoing. It's not really fair to blame society for those shortcomings.
It just takes some people more time then others to truly understand "who they are".
~The Writer~
"It's not really fair to blame society for those shortcomings.
It just takes some people more time then others to truly understand 'who they are'."
-True. In part I am 'blaming' myself for allowing other's views to shape the way I am, and not relying on myself and God to shape my identity.
-Amanda-
sterotypes are mean and unfair they can lead to a lot of diffrent situations.....people should get to know a person before they judge them..
exactly.
-Amanda-
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I was labeled as the quiet person. When I would tell people that they really do not know me they would say I have known you in school for 3 years you are quiet. My problem was I would (and still) only open up to people that I wanted to really show the real me to. I also observed people alot to see how they acted and their body movements.
I am shy also but I have gotten alot better with it. I hate stereotypes. I think that people judge what they don't understand. I have always been an outsider. I have always felt like I do not belong anywhere. I am very different from alot of people and it makes it hard to make friends. I guess that is why I don't have any..but they screwed me over so I guess I am better off without the drama. 5 stars. I think that was great.
http://www.progressiveu.org/032913-lupus-uncureable-wait-what
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