To be or not to be a Virgin?

I think that if a man wants to marry a virgin, then he should be a virgin as well. It would be way to hypocritical for a man who a slept with many women and possibly taken the virginity of some of them to prefer to marry a virgin. I understand why the guy in the article would have left the woman, however. There's a huge difference between simply not being a virgin and having slept with over 40 people. That seems really ridiculous.

And I don't buy the whole "need to spread their seeds" theory. Women have just as many sexual urges as men, yet when women act upon them, they're devaluing themselves? If this is true, I think men devalue themselves as well. I personally wouldn't want to be with a man who had slept with a lot of women.

This goes back to the whole women is a piece of property thing, where a virgin women is value more than a divorced, widow, or "bad" non virgin women just as a property is less value or a used car is sold for less because it had been used.

If a man value a woman hymen for the purpose of marriage, than why does these men sleep around with many women and I don't buy the whole "I need to spread my seed."

I am a male, 30 years old and I am still a Virgin by choice!
I want to marry a virgin, but I will accept someone who is not, depending on why she is not a virgin. Of course I am also a Christian and want to marry a Christian.
Sure people are shallow, but I want a woman who is a Christian and a Virgin.
Oh you may be skeptical, but I am a virgin and I respect women and I will not have sex until I am married. Sure, some may see me as a loser, but I do not care. I choose not to have sex. I choose to wait for marriage. And I choose to marry for love!

What about you gentlemen, do you value a women self worth base on her hymen being intact on the wedding night?
Is there man out there who is willing to end a relationship with a great woman because she had past lover who she was intimate with so that they can enjoy a loveless marriage with a woman who was virginal on their wedding night?

It would depend.
Did she lie to me and tell me she was a virgin or did she tell me the truth?
Did she love him and intend to marry him or did was he a one night stand?
Does she treat sex like a hobby or like a bond between two people who love each other?
I am a male, and I do not believe that a woman's value is simply in her virginity, but at the same time there is disease out there and what if she has an STD?
If she lied to me about her past, what about her present, and is she lying to me about her STD status?
Is she lying when she says "I love you?"
Does she love me or does she want me for my money or so I can provide for her while she "sleeps around"?
Will she stay faithful, or will she cheat on me?
Will she hurt me?
Oh, these questions are for both men and women who are virgins in a relationship with someone who is not a virgin. They need to be addressed otherwise, the relationship cannot last.

With the divorce rate of 50%, I hardly think that a hymen would guarantee a long, lasting marriage.

I agree. Love makes the marriage last. My parents loved each other and were married 32 years, until my father passed away last year. Regardless, my mom still loves my dad.

he said that if a man used the same diamond ring to purpose to multiple women before purposing it to you, would you felt less value and disrespected?

Yet he used the same penis to spread his seed.

I totally don't buy that spreading my seed thing either. if that were true, all women would have children for the first man they meet. Nobody would ever wait until marriage to have sex.

I can see why he wanted to end it, although i would not have. But breaking up with someone by not calling them is just rude and immature.

“I hope the departure is joyful and I hope never to return.” - Frida Kahlo
I think we should regress to the beginning

Now with me, I prefer to date a virgin because of the decreased chance of her having an STD. I also want every aspect of my wedding to be special, which means sharing a special experience, which includes losing my and my spouses virginities to each other. My girlfriend and I are both virgins, and it's a VERY good feeling that she respects her body, and that no other boy has carnal knowledge of her. All in all, it makes me feel special. Also with me, lacking your virginity is a huge minus for dating me. It can be an enough of an excuse for me to break-up with a girl, but I would have to examine the situation first. Men really don't like the idea of marrying a prostitute either. You're also half-right about the "spread our seed" philosophy. Men do feel the need to "spread their seed," but they also lust; hence why men (and women) sleep around. I think the 50% divorce rate is due to the fact that people marry out of lust, not love; therefore, they get annoyed at each other. I think if people quit getting around town, then the divorce rate will drop. That's all for now, have a great day, peace!!!!!!

He said that men had a biological need to "spread their seeds" whereas women don't and that is why men don't want to married women who had been around, many times.

What bullshit. That has nothing to do why men don't want women who've "been around". It's because a woman who's not a virgin is somehow "worth less".

It makes plenty of biological sense for a woman to sleep around. A large amount of men means support for her and for her child/children. It also gives her children more variety in their genes.

What's wrong with sleeping with 43 men by the time you're 35? Say she started at 15. Say she was a fairly responsible young lady and had sex only with her serious boyfriends until she was 20 - say, one boyfriend a year. So that's five. Say she decides she doesn't want to have a serious relationship. She just enjoys sex. So she has safe, consensual, enjoyable sex with men she finds attractive. Not all that often. She gets a new lover say, just once every few months. Once a season, say. She does that for, say, eight years. 37 lovers, and she's 28. And then some serious relationships again as she settles down - six more lovers over the next seven years.

At any rate, it's an average of about one every six months. Not particularly promiscuous.

I am in a relationship with a guy who I know has had sex before we met. He's 20 and I'm 18. Before we got together we were talking one night and he told me that he's had sex before and he asked me if I was a virgin. This was all before we started dating. I really liked him and I didn't know how he was going to react when I told him that I'm not a virgin, but since I really like him I told him the truth. I simply said, "no, I'm not a virgin." He didn't ask any questions about it, he didn't stop talking to me, and now we are together. I'm not going to tell him anything that he doesn't ask about, because the other relationships are in the past. They don't mean anything to me now. And I'm not going to ask him any questions about his exs. I honestly don't want to know. All I need to know is that he's not going to leave me just because I'm not a virgin, that he does want to be with me and that he doesn't have any STDs.

I don't believe the whole "spread their seeds" crap. Women have just as many sexual urges as men do. If we have sex we are automatically labled a slut or whore. But if a guy has sex he gets a "congrats", "good job", "it's about time" or something along those lines.

Sometimes change is good.

I don't think that men should get to have such an excuse to "spread their seed." I don't know many women who have stayed virgins until they were married. Let's face it, the world has changed now. Staying a virgin until you are married is very unlikely nowadays. It is also not very unlikely for men to hire female escorts. That is just how it is unfortunately. So take it or leave it.

All women upon this globe should have sex (intercourse) with at least 43 before the age of 25!

All that virginity macho approach view, is old school mind perverting macho nonsense!

No one should get married in the first place, lol

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